Hey @Shannon and all,
Since I have about 41 days left on the program, and need to decide what to do after:
-Is there anyone that can clearly say they've noticeably gained length/girth on the ME sub yet? It's a 9 month sub commitment, so I'm hesitant to commit 9 months without hearing the sub provides solid, tangible results worthy of the time investment. That's a lot of listening/development time is all.
-Is DMSI likely to be ready in 41 days? I've forgotten how far along it was, so I thought I'd ask if it was still far off, or close, etc.
-It won't kill me to continue OF a bit in preparation for DMSI if ME doesn't blow me away with testimonials. It's just, with my huge business fear cleared, the only real "fear" I have had over time, is related to girls/sex, so using DMSI even just for it's focused FRM instead of OF's general FRM, during this time we're in, seems like good business. To be honest though, throughout this OF journey, it has further entrenched my apparent lack of interest in women/sex beyond an admiring of beauty kind of thing. I don't know why, if it's removal of external validation and neediness, and/or just giving up on trying since it's always been such a painful and toxic experience. It's not like an angry vibe towards them, just kinda a "meh" vibe. Just seems like the value imbalance is so awful in general, if you get what I mean, just tired of one-way BS all the time. Really just dialed in to my business stuff more and more now, and enjoying it more than any girl stuff, which is almost impossible where I am now, for obvious reasons anyway...who knows when that is likely to change...It may seem weird about why I'd switch to DMSI then. The truth is, I don't really know why anymore. Maybe to experience if it CAN work, to experience sexual choice as I used to want so badly. To feel that experience, for the first time in my life. But again, it's an awful time to attempt it now perhaps, locally, I have almost zero possibility to use it as conventionally designed. At least the focused FRM can be useful long term, regardless. ME would be awesome to use in the downtime in the same way I've used OF to address issues I wouldn't have without this forced downtime I admit, but I need to see clear results of it working, and I could run that and remove a possible insecurity there as an alternative. We'll see. It's really about removing possible insecurities and building past them and improving now maybe, rather than an "end goal" I guess, it's odd to explain. Or, it could just be bad past experiences with girls, mixing with the current times I'm in and around in this place, colouring my perspective about girls.
I've written in my offline journal often about feeling like I'm at an abyss, or between two massively different realities. EXTREME differences between them. And going back and forth between them even during a day, or even more quickly. It can be a bit bewildering. You question your sanity, or rather, whether you're a positive thinker, or just delusional and not realistic etc. You bounce around all of those things, and back to positivity. It's awkward at times to figure which one is "you", lol.
Maybe it would be useful for me to make a summarised journal before the release of 5.8G, I'd hate for something to turn out relevant for me, but not have it posted in time so it can be scripted for. Looks like I'll have to get of my lazy butt and write one, lol.
Since I have about 41 days left on the program, and need to decide what to do after:
-Is there anyone that can clearly say they've noticeably gained length/girth on the ME sub yet? It's a 9 month sub commitment, so I'm hesitant to commit 9 months without hearing the sub provides solid, tangible results worthy of the time investment. That's a lot of listening/development time is all.
-Is DMSI likely to be ready in 41 days? I've forgotten how far along it was, so I thought I'd ask if it was still far off, or close, etc.
-It won't kill me to continue OF a bit in preparation for DMSI if ME doesn't blow me away with testimonials. It's just, with my huge business fear cleared, the only real "fear" I have had over time, is related to girls/sex, so using DMSI even just for it's focused FRM instead of OF's general FRM, during this time we're in, seems like good business. To be honest though, throughout this OF journey, it has further entrenched my apparent lack of interest in women/sex beyond an admiring of beauty kind of thing. I don't know why, if it's removal of external validation and neediness, and/or just giving up on trying since it's always been such a painful and toxic experience. It's not like an angry vibe towards them, just kinda a "meh" vibe. Just seems like the value imbalance is so awful in general, if you get what I mean, just tired of one-way BS all the time. Really just dialed in to my business stuff more and more now, and enjoying it more than any girl stuff, which is almost impossible where I am now, for obvious reasons anyway...who knows when that is likely to change...It may seem weird about why I'd switch to DMSI then. The truth is, I don't really know why anymore. Maybe to experience if it CAN work, to experience sexual choice as I used to want so badly. To feel that experience, for the first time in my life. But again, it's an awful time to attempt it now perhaps, locally, I have almost zero possibility to use it as conventionally designed. At least the focused FRM can be useful long term, regardless. ME would be awesome to use in the downtime in the same way I've used OF to address issues I wouldn't have without this forced downtime I admit, but I need to see clear results of it working, and I could run that and remove a possible insecurity there as an alternative. We'll see. It's really about removing possible insecurities and building past them and improving now maybe, rather than an "end goal" I guess, it's odd to explain. Or, it could just be bad past experiences with girls, mixing with the current times I'm in and around in this place, colouring my perspective about girls.
I've written in my offline journal often about feeling like I'm at an abyss, or between two massively different realities. EXTREME differences between them. And going back and forth between them even during a day, or even more quickly. It can be a bit bewildering. You question your sanity, or rather, whether you're a positive thinker, or just delusional and not realistic etc. You bounce around all of those things, and back to positivity. It's awkward at times to figure which one is "you", lol.
Maybe it would be useful for me to make a summarised journal before the release of 5.8G, I'd hate for something to turn out relevant for me, but not have it posted in time so it can be scripted for. Looks like I'll have to get of my lazy butt and write one, lol.
