08-26-2021, 10:15 AM
At this point, I'm on full Autoconfig. I literally just do what my intuition tells me feels right.
On nights my wife is home, I'll play ultrasonic exclusively. When she's gone, I'll start a playlist that is 1US, 3HB, 3MASK, 1US. Volume is loud - 14/15 clicks for US, then 10/15 for the hybrid/masked tracks. The last US is quieter, too, as I'm generally asleep when that plays, so I don't adjust the volume back up.
Last night, I woke up during some dreams absolutely sopping wet with sweat. I keep my bedroom at 69F at night, so I can only surmise I was again working on something that scares the shit out of my subconscious.
OF has completely dealt with trading fears with crypto. The price goes up, yay! The price goes down? Whatever! I'm trading completely fearlessly at this point (with very good results)!
The other night, after the kids were in bed and my wife was asleep (or so I thought) I was putting my shoes on to go to the gas station and grab some beer. I look up to hear, "Are you going somewhere!?" So I lied and said no, but it looked bad, lol. I don't like all the questions, and just want to do my own thing without being pestered, so I just avoided the whole thing.
I got in the car, set my seat, and it was hot - so turned down the AC. Got back, parked the car perfectly where it had been, adjusted the seat back to her setting...and forgot to turn the AC back up. Fuck. The next morning, I get a text - "The temp in my car was changed, why did you have to lie to me?"
So I tell her, "Because I didn't want to answer questions B and C after question A. If you were more accepting of me, and allowed me to deal with my vices on my own terms instead of being handed ultimatums by you, I'd would trust you more. That said, I'm sorry I lied to you. Just let me handle my shit on my own terms in my own time, and I'll be more forthcoming."
Her response, "You know I just do it because I care."
That said, now she's leaving me alone. Fantastic outcome. I really do have intentions to get my shit together on the "casual" drinking front. It goes hand-in-hand with not exercising on the reg, not eating right, and feeling a general lack of motivations in those areas. For me, it's always cyclical, and I know that time of feeling inspired and motivated to change will come. Now, it'll be better, because I'm not doing it for her, I'll be doing it for myself.
On nights my wife is home, I'll play ultrasonic exclusively. When she's gone, I'll start a playlist that is 1US, 3HB, 3MASK, 1US. Volume is loud - 14/15 clicks for US, then 10/15 for the hybrid/masked tracks. The last US is quieter, too, as I'm generally asleep when that plays, so I don't adjust the volume back up.
Last night, I woke up during some dreams absolutely sopping wet with sweat. I keep my bedroom at 69F at night, so I can only surmise I was again working on something that scares the shit out of my subconscious.
OF has completely dealt with trading fears with crypto. The price goes up, yay! The price goes down? Whatever! I'm trading completely fearlessly at this point (with very good results)!
The other night, after the kids were in bed and my wife was asleep (or so I thought) I was putting my shoes on to go to the gas station and grab some beer. I look up to hear, "Are you going somewhere!?" So I lied and said no, but it looked bad, lol. I don't like all the questions, and just want to do my own thing without being pestered, so I just avoided the whole thing.
I got in the car, set my seat, and it was hot - so turned down the AC. Got back, parked the car perfectly where it had been, adjusted the seat back to her setting...and forgot to turn the AC back up. Fuck. The next morning, I get a text - "The temp in my car was changed, why did you have to lie to me?"
So I tell her, "Because I didn't want to answer questions B and C after question A. If you were more accepting of me, and allowed me to deal with my vices on my own terms instead of being handed ultimatums by you, I'd would trust you more. That said, I'm sorry I lied to you. Just let me handle my shit on my own terms in my own time, and I'll be more forthcoming."
Her response, "You know I just do it because I care."
That said, now she's leaving me alone. Fantastic outcome. I really do have intentions to get my shit together on the "casual" drinking front. It goes hand-in-hand with not exercising on the reg, not eating right, and feeling a general lack of motivations in those areas. For me, it's always cyclical, and I know that time of feeling inspired and motivated to change will come. Now, it'll be better, because I'm not doing it for her, I'll be doing it for myself.
