Findingme: LTU6

[NOMAD]

Your own words (from this journal).

I'm thinking of your message Nomad, and I have no argument to throw back.  Mistrust of others follows me everywhere, and here it's heavy.  All fear-based roots, and it's why I am where I am.  

Going with that is mistrusting myself.  I consider something, and fear speaks up loudly, promptly discouraging me.  Fear is my root, and my biggest motivator.   It keeps my mouth shut and I stay back in unhealthy hideouts.

A small part of me I just felt, the fearful part: "really?"

What is good for me?  A slow ride into healing (like I did on E2 for 3 months)?  Or focused work on fear?  I like focused work since results show clearer and oftentimes quicker.

A bigger (fearful) question: how do I handle the inner fears uprising?  ...... Shannon said follow the cravings using more loops temporarily.  

Damn.  Handling my shit seems rather unnormal to my immature side.

Your own words again (from your OFv3 journal).

I had read Shannon's response to Jake Friday of how he keeps deluding himself again and again not seeing progress, and I'm guessing I'm seeing a bit of self-BSing in myself.  My BSing is me looking for pity when none is needed.  Damn.  Yep.  Old patterns.  So, I've not posted, and I've really not worried about it.  Coming here and putting on some BS show is a stressor for me.  No thank you. 

Solid observation?

I recall reading some of your posts in the past and thinking, "Damn, this guy jumps around a lot." Picking a path and committing to it might do you some good. It isn't always pleasant and you might second guess yourself during the journey, but the end result could be worthwhile.

It seems to me that a good run of OFv3 followed by a good run of the latest in the E-series might've been your best bet. Think about it. Each one is  hyper-focused on a specific goal.  Each one is also made up of technology that makes them capable of getting closer to the root. LTU6 is spread across multiple goals. It's tech isn't anywhere near where it is now. Call me crazy, but it kind of looks like you're running away.

I wish you the best, but you might consider the possibility that you're screwing yourself by not seeing things through to completion particularly with the newer, more advanced technology that you've apparently already purchased.

Surely, you see what you're doing...again.

I pulled off OF3 in late July, and began stage 1 again August 8.  

...

 I even considered pulling off and doing LTU5...

...

I actually have to pull off LTU6.