Shannon's Journal Discussion Thread, Vol. 5

[Johannesbrst]

Congrats on the store Shannon, the new changes sounds promising.

On another note. Would you say E5 is a better fit to help resolve repressed anger, rather than OFv3?

   One  Informational Tip here for ya Callie: Anger is a form of Fear. In MY view either way you wont go wrong, however,let Shannon lay the knowledge on ya about all of that.

I don't agree that anger is a form of fear.  I spend all day long working on something, and my assistant comes in and erases it because he thinks it's an error without consulting me, and I get angry.  Because I'm afraid of what?  I don't see how it's fear.  Can you show me the reasoning behind why you believe it is?

It's not necessary to feel anger in that situation, or for that matter even to express the anger. A more considered approach would be to sit down with the assistant to understand his/hers reasoning behind and reason for acting like he or she did. Being angry at the assistant will either create fear in the assistant (and maybe making him/her even more insecure and of lower esteem, which probably is the reason behind the mistake in the first place) or in the worst case make them resent you and possibly ruin a good assistant (who just needed some encouragement and help understanding the process at the job).

Being angry in this case perhaps stems from you feeling out of control of the destiny of your company (without fear you would trust that things will work out fine, and even know that anger isn't going to help you there) or the feeling that you can't "control" your employees (only fear tells you that you need to control someone, good judgement know that interpersonal relationships are better cultivated with carrots than sticks). Without fear you are more capable to understand other people's perspective and how you can work with them to adopt an approach more in line with what you have seen is productive and works toward bringing out the potential in the assistant, as well as the potential in the company. 

Previously I though that the only feasible situation for anger was to defend yourself, but I'm not even sure of that. The best boxers/MMA/UFC-athletes in the world don't get sucked into anger. If they did, their judgement would be clouded and they would make more mistakes. Instead, I believe they are driven more by a survival instinct (i.e. "I want to live got damn it!") rather than the fear version of that instinct (i.e. "I'm going to kill you before you will kill me, got damn it!").