Shannon's Journal Discussion Thread, Vol. 5

[Shannon]

Shannon, can you help me understand something please?

i have been feeling down and depressed, and i guessed it was a bit because of OF v3. So yesterday i said i think i need OF v3 to push this sh!t out of me. So I upped it to 5 loops (2 days on + 2 days off). I was right about my assumption.

I had a lot of nightmares and was scared sh!tless the whole night. Half way through my loops I felt this deep fear BUT i was too scared to let go. I dont know if i was sleeping or awake, i think it was one of those dreams in a dream, as in i was dreaming and thought i was awake. So it seems OF v3 knocked on the door and i was too scared to let it through.

My concern is that i "failed", i should have let go, i know i have a tough time letting go, letting go of control.

Do you think i will get another chance? How can i help OF v3 knock this out?
I wish i had gave up control yesterday. Will OF win?

There is no failure possible unless you quit trying.  That is the only path to failure.  Let go of self punishment for "failure".  It is not helping you.

You get another chance every moment of every day.  And if you continue using OF and you use it properly, you will get enough exposure to empower the cooperative parts of you to win.  OF is just a set of instructions.  It isn't doing the work; you are.  Some parts of you are cooperating, and some are not.  Just keep going.

Maybe you should stick to 5 loops and see what happens over time.