This is weird how everything seems so bland, but the urge to listen continues. At the same time I can't say that OF seems that 'exciting' so far as compared to like AM6 and LTU and other programs. I don't really know what's happening, nothing too obvious other than this urge to listen more that mostly hits me when I feel the worst.
The only thing that moderately sounds exciting to me is looking at porn. But i'm fighting that because inevitably that makes me feel much worse not just after but for like a week or more after, and also lowers my deservingness and creates more insecurity. But despite that how strongly the mind promotes it as 'nah come on, it's the solution, you'll feel better'.
6 loops a night for as long as I have the urge, and hyrbid through the day when I get that urge from now on.
Strong insecurities coming up. I no longer feel like going into detail about some of these things here but I note them for myself.
I identified some fears really holding me back with women, circumstances in the last few years have really takes it's toll on my confidence in that area. I opened a document and explored these fears and it started off making sense and I kept going deeper.
I've found the first half of this before, but not the second half. Of course this is completely illogical. It amounts to.
"I'm afraid to die, but i'm also afraid to live".
Yeah, what a useful, totally logical fear.
The only thing that moderately sounds exciting to me is looking at porn. But i'm fighting that because inevitably that makes me feel much worse not just after but for like a week or more after, and also lowers my deservingness and creates more insecurity. But despite that how strongly the mind promotes it as 'nah come on, it's the solution, you'll feel better'.
6 loops a night for as long as I have the urge, and hyrbid through the day when I get that urge from now on.
Strong insecurities coming up. I no longer feel like going into detail about some of these things here but I note them for myself.
I identified some fears really holding me back with women, circumstances in the last few years have really takes it's toll on my confidence in that area. I opened a document and explored these fears and it started off making sense and I kept going deeper.
I've found the first half of this before, but not the second half. Of course this is completely illogical. It amounts to.
"I'm afraid to die, but i'm also afraid to live".
Yeah, what a useful, totally logical fear.
