07-21-2021, 04:16 PM
The urge to do 3 loops last night stayed so I did so. 3 loops ultrasonic.
When listening my mind didn't seem to be in the same 'struggle' back and forth like the night before, though this annoying sabotage still was coming up. 2 nights ago I think I was thinking about one of my big traumas and how it's held me back and made me want to not go places sometimes and it seemed to be processing and getting to a realization, just for this bs to come in and stop that. This has been a consistent frustration, like even waking up at night about to have a realization then this gets rid of it which never used to happen.
Head was quite constricted again and when I woke up this morning I was finding it hard to think.
I slept pretty well more than usual. I must have slept longer in one time than in ages cos I woke up and had the biggest pee I have in ages.
Another mental dream. I was looking for a public toilet and went in and these 2 guys had set it up like a really posh loungeroom with a big tv and were watching something in there. They didn't want me to use the toilet but I went in anyway and they attacked me, they had some kind of weapons and I was throwing chairs and tables at them which didn't do much, most of them were missing. Then the dream ended.
Feeling quite calm and relaxed this morning. Subtle but different than usual.
When listening my mind didn't seem to be in the same 'struggle' back and forth like the night before, though this annoying sabotage still was coming up. 2 nights ago I think I was thinking about one of my big traumas and how it's held me back and made me want to not go places sometimes and it seemed to be processing and getting to a realization, just for this bs to come in and stop that. This has been a consistent frustration, like even waking up at night about to have a realization then this gets rid of it which never used to happen.
Head was quite constricted again and when I woke up this morning I was finding it hard to think.
I slept pretty well more than usual. I must have slept longer in one time than in ages cos I woke up and had the biggest pee I have in ages.
Another mental dream. I was looking for a public toilet and went in and these 2 guys had set it up like a really posh loungeroom with a big tv and were watching something in there. They didn't want me to use the toilet but I went in anyway and they attacked me, they had some kind of weapons and I was throwing chairs and tables at them which didn't do much, most of them were missing. Then the dream ended.
Feeling quite calm and relaxed this morning. Subtle but different than usual.
