07-19-2021, 09:31 PM
I'm finding it a little difficult to think or focus at the moment, but i'll try.
Last night I didn't remember my dreams as well, but I did have a really weird one. The only parts I remember is that there was this guy kidnapping women and hanging them up on the roof naked from their feet. I ended up fighting him, but it was kind of like a brazilian jiu jitsu match. I was behind him and trying to choke him and he was trying to stab me in the leg. I grabbed his arms and put him in a choke and was trying to choke him out but it wasn't doing much.
Then I noticed the 'timer' counting down (as in the round timer for mma) and then the 'match' got broken up, I think the dream ended after that.
Yeah I have no idea, weird shit.
I've noticed a bit of waking up thinking about certain things that i've wanted to ignore or not look at that are happening. Like a subtle 'face reality' thing.
This morning I noticed something subtly different in my perception that I can't explain.
I went down the street to get some fruit as i'm not meant to eat much fat before my flush, felt a little anxious. I've noticed a bit of anxiety going out recently, mainly due to all the fear and bs being thrown at us and sometimes it feels like it's 'in the air'. During LTU I was able to deal with this well, but it must have been the 'conscious shielding' of emotions, as I would feel pretty relaxed and comfortable but then i'd notice anxiety and weakness in my voice.
Today I noticed I felt a little more anxious, but I was more okay with it and my voice was still strong.
The other cool thing is that this morning I had no desire to look at social media stuff, though this afternoon it's like I went down a hole and this obsessiveness come up and i'm wanting to keep checking it. This has been coming up a bit recently. It will be good if this desire lessens more, I have no idea how it could be attributed to fear though.
The frustration is that I want to continue Qigong, but i'm not totally sure if it effects OF negatively. Qigong is good for more energy and for sex drive and I want to keep doing it. But I notice after doing it I feel a little different, like my perception shifts from subtle things i'm noticing from OF to other things.
I'll just keep doing it for now and observe, it's not mind programming, it's building energy in the body and circulating it to build your energy which is why it's beneficial.
So felt pretty good this morning, relaxed, a subtle calmness. This afternoon feeling weak, depressed, not knowing what to do with myself. Hard to focus.
Last night I didn't remember my dreams as well, but I did have a really weird one. The only parts I remember is that there was this guy kidnapping women and hanging them up on the roof naked from their feet. I ended up fighting him, but it was kind of like a brazilian jiu jitsu match. I was behind him and trying to choke him and he was trying to stab me in the leg. I grabbed his arms and put him in a choke and was trying to choke him out but it wasn't doing much.
Then I noticed the 'timer' counting down (as in the round timer for mma) and then the 'match' got broken up, I think the dream ended after that.
Yeah I have no idea, weird shit.
I've noticed a bit of waking up thinking about certain things that i've wanted to ignore or not look at that are happening. Like a subtle 'face reality' thing.
This morning I noticed something subtly different in my perception that I can't explain.
I went down the street to get some fruit as i'm not meant to eat much fat before my flush, felt a little anxious. I've noticed a bit of anxiety going out recently, mainly due to all the fear and bs being thrown at us and sometimes it feels like it's 'in the air'. During LTU I was able to deal with this well, but it must have been the 'conscious shielding' of emotions, as I would feel pretty relaxed and comfortable but then i'd notice anxiety and weakness in my voice.
Today I noticed I felt a little more anxious, but I was more okay with it and my voice was still strong.
The other cool thing is that this morning I had no desire to look at social media stuff, though this afternoon it's like I went down a hole and this obsessiveness come up and i'm wanting to keep checking it. This has been coming up a bit recently. It will be good if this desire lessens more, I have no idea how it could be attributed to fear though.
The frustration is that I want to continue Qigong, but i'm not totally sure if it effects OF negatively. Qigong is good for more energy and for sex drive and I want to keep doing it. But I notice after doing it I feel a little different, like my perception shifts from subtle things i'm noticing from OF to other things.
I'll just keep doing it for now and observe, it's not mind programming, it's building energy in the body and circulating it to build your energy which is why it's beneficial.
So felt pretty good this morning, relaxed, a subtle calmness. This afternoon feeling weak, depressed, not knowing what to do with myself. Hard to focus.
