07-04-2021, 09:44 AM
I'm thinking of your message Nomad, and I have no argument to throw back. Mistrust of others follows me everywhere, and here it's heavy. All fear-based roots, and it's why I am where I am.
Going with that is mistrusting myself. I consider something, and fear speaks up loudly, promptly discouraging me. Fear is my root, and my biggest motivator. It keeps my mouth shut and I stay back in unhealthy hideouts.
A small part of me I just felt, the fearful part: "really?"
What is good for me? A slow ride into healing (like I did on E2 for 3 months)? Or focused work on fear? I like focused work since results show clearer and oftentimes quicker.
A bigger (fearful) question: how do I handle the inner fears uprising? ...... Shannon said follow the cravings using more loops temporarily.
Damn. Handling my shit seems rather unnormal to my immature side.
Going with that is mistrusting myself. I consider something, and fear speaks up loudly, promptly discouraging me. Fear is my root, and my biggest motivator. It keeps my mouth shut and I stay back in unhealthy hideouts.
A small part of me I just felt, the fearful part: "really?"
What is good for me? A slow ride into healing (like I did on E2 for 3 months)? Or focused work on fear? I like focused work since results show clearer and oftentimes quicker.
A bigger (fearful) question: how do I handle the inner fears uprising? ...... Shannon said follow the cravings using more loops temporarily.
Damn. Handling my shit seems rather unnormal to my immature side.
I want to be FREE!
