Transcendental Sith Lord's OFv3 Journal

[Shannon]

I noticed the same thing.  When I was dating multiple women at a time, I would always tell them that up front, flat out, and make sure they understood.  And most of the time, I would end up with them either accusing me of cheating, causing drama because they didn't believe me in the beginning, lying to me and or breaking the rules we had both agreed to in the beginning of the relationship.

I think most women just don't believe it, can't imagine it, and then can't handle it when they realize you weren't just boasting or something like that.

@Shannon by dating do you mean you were exclusive were these said women or was it that it was simply dating without anyone mentioning exclusivity?

If they were exclusive for all of them with you how did you ever manage that? lol A polyamorous set up?

sorry @DarthXedonias for going on tangent on your thread bro. Hope you dont mind.

The situation was not polyamory.  It was polygyny (many females).  Polyamory is where everyone involved is in a romantic (and sometimes also sexual) relationship with everyone else involved.  I had multiple girlfriends, and they all had me.  It was a star topology.  If they didn't like that situation, they didn't have to agree to it, and they could leave should they decide they were not happy.  I managed years of successful relationships like that by simply being honest and stating what I wanted, what I needed, what I expected and what was willing to accept.  They could respond however they wanted, but if they wanted to be more than friends, they had the option of agreeing to my terms or staying friends.  Sometimes they would choose to just be friends, and sometimes they would opt for being one of my girlfriends.  Some of the ones who opted to remain just friends are still friends of mine years later.

It's really simple when you're honest, communicate clearly and up front what you want and are and are not willing to accept and then let the chips fall where they may.  She's either willing to accept the terms, or she's not.  It was not a negotiable situation.  This is what I want, this is what I need, this is what I am willing to do, this is what I am willing to accept, and if you are also willing, this is what I expect and these are the rules.  If that's not suitable for you, then we won't do that, we'll just be friends.  Everyone understands before they get involved what the situation is, what the expectations are, what the rules are, and then if she agrees to those terms, welcome to the family.  If not, we'll just be friends.

Only like I said, they never seemed to get it no matter how clearly I explained things.  They usually thought I was kidding, I was bluffing, I was boasting, I couldn't possibly be serious.  But I was.