13/180
Day 13 OFF - Mon 31 May - OFF #1 - Part 2
Today was ok except I felt that I was perhaps less anxious in general and more I dont know calmer and composed and not confident but just not phased as such.
That itsnt to say that I didnt feel lets say at times a quick jolt of anxiety suddenly say to a loud noise or whatever but it wasnt something that lingered or lasted more than a split second or 2 at max probably.
I have been thinking alot though today about things to do when im back at uni so the mind has been active BUT it hasnt I dont think been stressful or anxiety based just quiet busy if that makes sense.
Today has also been a hot sunny day in the UK and also a national holiday so for me its been a day of rest like every other but the sun really helped in boost my mood but I wondered is it me or the sub or both. I just felt in control and alive and powerful today which I do do when the sun usually is this good here (which is rare lol) but I havent been stressed or worried or anxious about travelling back which can happen around now with only a week or so to go. Ive just been chilled. I also think though that doing that homework last night (read part 1 of this post - the previous post above) also helped to ease any stress that may have arisen too if I had not even attempted it. The homework in it self wasnt hard, it was a simple google search, copy and paste job mostly but I still got it done 50% and the first part as mentioned I think will hopefully be done soon too.
I dont have the desire I had briefly at the start to listen more to the sub at the moment. Maybe this is the sweet spot for me to keep going so lets see.
I got some of my prep for packing done as I call it today again all in my stride. I noticed I wasnt acting stressed or panicked about it.
Sure I recall now that at 1 moment I did get agitated at my family over something and at another time got hot tempered quickly but for a brief moment so the negative energies and feelings ofcourse are there but I do feel if today is an indicator then im on the way to good things.
The only reason im being cautious in getting excited about whether im executing or not even though I really want to say after todays post that I must be or seem to be is that im trying to just not get excited too quickly too soon as I have done in the past but im sure the more I listen the more it will become clearer and better
I have read some journals and perhaps eventually I may go to 2 days ON and 2 days OFF only as this is a thought I may get now and again but not really an urge more like a 50/50 of do or dont it wont make too much of a difference. I rather see how I go for now. anyway enough for now.
Also yes by the evening I was tired once again, after eating dinner I feel tired and sleepy. I cant go to bed early in this house and make this evening time to catch up with this forum and online messages etc so soon head to bed.
Just need to add this so I can keep an eye on where I am so please excuse this:
Day 1 On - Wednesday 19 May
Day 2 On - Thursday 20 May
Day 3 off - Fri 21 May
Day 4 off - Sat 22 May
Day 5 off - Sun 23 May
Day 6 ON - Mon 24 May
Day 7 ON - Tues 25 May
Day 8 OFF - Wed 26 May
Day 9 OFF - Thurs 27 May - today
Day 10 OFF - Fri 28 May
Day 11 ON - Sat 29 May
Day 12 ON - Sun 30 May
Day 13 Off - Monday 31 May
- done so far -
Day 14 Off - Tuesday 1 June
Day 15 Off - Wednesday 2 June
Day 16 On - Thursday 3 June
Day 17 On - Friday 4 June
Day 18 Off - Sat 5 June
Day 19 Off - Sun 6 June
Day 20 Off - Mon 8 June
Day 21 On - Tues 9 June
Day 22 On - Wed 10 June
Day 23 Off - Thurs 11 June
Day 24 Off - Fri 12 June
Day 26 Off - Sat 13 June
Day 27 On - Sun 14 June
Day 28 On - Mon 15 June
Day 29 - Tues 16 June
Day 30 - Wed 17 June
Day 13 OFF - Mon 31 May - OFF #1 - Part 2
Today was ok except I felt that I was perhaps less anxious in general and more I dont know calmer and composed and not confident but just not phased as such.
That itsnt to say that I didnt feel lets say at times a quick jolt of anxiety suddenly say to a loud noise or whatever but it wasnt something that lingered or lasted more than a split second or 2 at max probably.
I have been thinking alot though today about things to do when im back at uni so the mind has been active BUT it hasnt I dont think been stressful or anxiety based just quiet busy if that makes sense.
Today has also been a hot sunny day in the UK and also a national holiday so for me its been a day of rest like every other but the sun really helped in boost my mood but I wondered is it me or the sub or both. I just felt in control and alive and powerful today which I do do when the sun usually is this good here (which is rare lol) but I havent been stressed or worried or anxious about travelling back which can happen around now with only a week or so to go. Ive just been chilled. I also think though that doing that homework last night (read part 1 of this post - the previous post above) also helped to ease any stress that may have arisen too if I had not even attempted it. The homework in it self wasnt hard, it was a simple google search, copy and paste job mostly but I still got it done 50% and the first part as mentioned I think will hopefully be done soon too.
I dont have the desire I had briefly at the start to listen more to the sub at the moment. Maybe this is the sweet spot for me to keep going so lets see.
I got some of my prep for packing done as I call it today again all in my stride. I noticed I wasnt acting stressed or panicked about it.
Sure I recall now that at 1 moment I did get agitated at my family over something and at another time got hot tempered quickly but for a brief moment so the negative energies and feelings ofcourse are there but I do feel if today is an indicator then im on the way to good things.
The only reason im being cautious in getting excited about whether im executing or not even though I really want to say after todays post that I must be or seem to be is that im trying to just not get excited too quickly too soon as I have done in the past but im sure the more I listen the more it will become clearer and better
I have read some journals and perhaps eventually I may go to 2 days ON and 2 days OFF only as this is a thought I may get now and again but not really an urge more like a 50/50 of do or dont it wont make too much of a difference. I rather see how I go for now. anyway enough for now.
Also yes by the evening I was tired once again, after eating dinner I feel tired and sleepy. I cant go to bed early in this house and make this evening time to catch up with this forum and online messages etc so soon head to bed.
Just need to add this so I can keep an eye on where I am so please excuse this:
Day 1 On - Wednesday 19 May
Day 2 On - Thursday 20 May
Day 3 off - Fri 21 May
Day 4 off - Sat 22 May
Day 5 off - Sun 23 May
Day 6 ON - Mon 24 May
Day 7 ON - Tues 25 May
Day 8 OFF - Wed 26 May
Day 9 OFF - Thurs 27 May - today
Day 10 OFF - Fri 28 May
Day 11 ON - Sat 29 May
Day 12 ON - Sun 30 May
Day 13 Off - Monday 31 May
- done so far -
Day 14 Off - Tuesday 1 June
Day 15 Off - Wednesday 2 June
Day 16 On - Thursday 3 June
Day 17 On - Friday 4 June
Day 18 Off - Sat 5 June
Day 19 Off - Sun 6 June
Day 20 Off - Mon 8 June
Day 21 On - Tues 9 June
Day 22 On - Wed 10 June
Day 23 Off - Thurs 11 June
Day 24 Off - Fri 12 June
Day 26 Off - Sat 13 June
Day 27 On - Sun 14 June
Day 28 On - Mon 15 June
Day 29 - Tues 16 June
Day 30 - Wed 17 June
OF3 5.75.7G 13/15Vol
1L-2O/3OF; (1L-2/2 5/6); (2L 19/6); (3L 27/6); (4L 9/7); (H4L 25/7)
W 19 May
MLS 5.5G: ≈70days x2, IYGSH: 54, E2: 78+48, DMSI 3.2: 56 & 22, UMOP1: 57+UMOP2: 33 = 90+10 US v12/15=100, OF: 45, OF2: 56days
1L-2O/3OF; (1L-2/2 5/6); (2L 19/6); (3L 27/6); (4L 9/7); (H4L 25/7)
W 19 May
MLS 5.5G: ≈70days x2, IYGSH: 54, E2: 78+48, DMSI 3.2: 56 & 22, UMOP1: 57+UMOP2: 33 = 90+10 US v12/15=100, OF: 45, OF2: 56days
