whome: Aura of Love

[Shannon]

Self punishment is always the worst.

Indeed, though this isn’t a surprise. I’ve run a lot of subs: USLM3, DMSI 3.2, DMSI 3.3.2, LTU5, OF. And in every case I gave up because they weren’t getting anywhere and I was struggling with triggered pain and exhaustion.

So yes, expecting this.

I’m re-reading the description, and it talks about how bathing in the aura of love could be helpful. The reason I was doing this sub was that I was thinking that perhaps being in an aura of love would heal the pain. Just now realizing that if the pain is blocking execution of the sub, then there will be no aura to heal the pain.

Oh well, so I guess I’m now hoping that new machinery will be able to break through.

You have a very sneaky way of self sabotaging, my friend.

The pain is self inflicted as a punishment for whatever you hate yourself for.  It isn't blocking the sub.  The thing you need to do is understand what you hate yourself for, and why.  Aura of Love will not stop the pain, but it is very possible that it will deal with - in whole or in part - the self hate that causes you to self punish with that pain.  You cannot experience love and hate at the same time, as far as I know.

Keep going.