04-20-2021, 04:03 AM
Stage 7 Day 67 (1)
The sad consequence of my return to this forum is that I started to think again about what sub to run. The original plan was to run this sub for 6 months while 3-6 are recommended and given that this stage doesn't seem to work great for me I'm thinking of alternatives. I will get to 100 days I think and then I'll consider my options.
I really don't think the sub is to blame. I always found that the subs give me the best results when I'm focusing on something, like it happened last year. Now however I lost my focus and got entangled in way too many strings pulling me in all directions. I think there is silver lining to be found though. Now that I woke up from the slumber and warmer days are sure to cheer me up I might figure my life again.
While my situation is not... perfect, it is better than I believe. I hold a lot of anxiety for things I have little control over and I set myself goals that are ambitious but arbitrary. It's like playing a video game and expecting a perfect score each time. Life's not like that and I have plenty of room to fail and try again or do something else. The difference now though is that I'd always use this room as an excuse not to do things that make me anxious. This is not an option anymore - I have to face these things and finish what I started, albeit with not as much pressure as I forced on myself these past 2 months.
The sad consequence of my return to this forum is that I started to think again about what sub to run. The original plan was to run this sub for 6 months while 3-6 are recommended and given that this stage doesn't seem to work great for me I'm thinking of alternatives. I will get to 100 days I think and then I'll consider my options.
I really don't think the sub is to blame. I always found that the subs give me the best results when I'm focusing on something, like it happened last year. Now however I lost my focus and got entangled in way too many strings pulling me in all directions. I think there is silver lining to be found though. Now that I woke up from the slumber and warmer days are sure to cheer me up I might figure my life again.
While my situation is not... perfect, it is better than I believe. I hold a lot of anxiety for things I have little control over and I set myself goals that are ambitious but arbitrary. It's like playing a video game and expecting a perfect score each time. Life's not like that and I have plenty of room to fail and try again or do something else. The difference now though is that I'd always use this room as an excuse not to do things that make me anxious. This is not an option anymore - I have to face these things and finish what I started, albeit with not as much pressure as I forced on myself these past 2 months.
For not by numbers of men, nor by measure of body, but by valor of soul is war to be decided.
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
