Shannon's Journal Discussion Thread, Vol. 5

[Shannon]

Shannon, can you help please?

Ive finished my second cycle of MLS. Im using MLS to improve my day trading. Day trading can be frustrating especially when there is no progress and you dont seem to be learning anything which was/is my situation - hence why i purchased MLS.

However frustrating my experience has been, the last 2 weeks my anger has entered another level. I am the hulk right now, I could quite easily smash everything in my apartment. Of course, ive never had such extreme anger / frustration. I am a little hot tempered then the average person, but definitely not the violent breaking kind - i dont think ive even broken anything.

I do know that learning and frustration and anger are polar opposites, you cannot learn in such a state. therefore my question is, am i being a d!ckh$$d or is this some kind of resistance from MLS?

If I am being a d!ckh$$d, ill find a way to solve it.
But if it is MLS resistance, how can i deal with it? Listen everyday for example? Force this sh!t out.

Thanks Shannon.

ps. fyi a small report I dont feel any other resistance. Im not eating more like others have reported. Im not tired, ive used other programs where i needed to go to sleep every day in the afternoon. Not feeling that w MLS. First cycle i was super motivated, second cycle motivation was/is stabilised. Small pockets of happy moments. General depression associated with my trading seems to be reduced compared to 2 weeks although, not entirely sure if that MLS related or just dumb luck.

What you're experiencing is almost certainly resistance.  When you get an anger response, you will usually (but not always) be getting that response because you are pushing too hard.  Sometimes, you are pushing to accomplish something that is centrally against one of your most primal fears, and it is forcing that fear to be dealt with and triggering massive resistance because of that fear.  

If it is the former case (pushing too hard), then you want to lower perceptory pressure.  If it is the latter case (pushing to overcome a central fear, but without enough force to overcome resistance), then you want to increase perceptory pressure.

Can you tell which case it is?  Is your subconscious getting mad because you're being too aggressive in the way the goal is being approached? (Former case) Or perhaps because it is convinced that the goal is "impossible to achieve", or requires facing one or more of your deepest fears? (latter case)

Shannon thanks, your explanation is excellent.


It’s without a doubt I believe this achievement to be impossible, day trading is the hardest thing I’ve done in my life. Dont get me wrong I do push myself (but ive always been like this, ive also never found anything hard or particularly challenging) but the later case is more rampant, i am thinking this is just not possible to learn to become a trader to get it right, to win, its IMPOSSIBLE. (I trade with my best friends and ive seen their bank accounts everyday so i know its in reality possible - lucky me)

I used to be a phenomenal learner but slowly this skill dissolved with age to zero atm, what took someone minutes would take me seconds, i was able to put stuff together like a puzzle - i called it a system solver. I know it’s in there, that’s what makes this trading experience frustrating and something i cannot accept.

After reading your post I decided to listen to MLS to force it last night after 2 nights break, I felt great about an hour into my listening, motivation over the moon all roses. Now ive woken up again and I'm ready to give up trading and throw this computer out the window. I am fuming. The anger is incredible.

Shall I try force feeding MLS listen everyday for 1 or 2 weeks and see how it feels? Listen more than 6 loops?
Otherwise, what is your suggestion? 
I can’t take this sh!t anymore i want to give up. But I can’t, I must win.

ps side note.. more info for you.. it’s early to say for sure, but my photographic memory, has made some appearances in the last 2 weeks. It’s been missing for a long time, forgot I had it. Last night when i realised my "powers" were back (while listening to MLS actually) i started using it and i could visual colors and everything, it put a smile on my face, forgot i had this skill. Also, this morning my chosen second language which i speak fluently but like a foreigner due to laziness and i just never was able to learn it due to frustration and also thinking its impossible, or its too much (see the pattern here?) - this is really when i gave up on learning i think, i sms'd in perfect sentence structure - i havent done this in years either. It was auto pilot. So some slight eamples already of tangible results, i wonder if this is only level 5% what will happen at 100.

It would seem clear by what you've said that there is some part of you that is getting very sngry because this program is pushing it to do something it really, REALLY doesn't want to do.  In my experience, that usually indicates either that it perceives the situation as being life threatening if it does.  We know that this is of course ridiculous.  So what I would do is choose a variable - volume, days on, days off - and adjust it to increase perceptory pressure.  

What volume, days on and days off have you been using?  Let's see which one is best to adjust.

Shannon, thanks again.
Interesting.

Volume: Same volume and position and speakers i have always used. Im on an old android using FLAC ultrasonic, with high frequency rated speakers i specifically bought 8 years ago for your subs. Android volume is 2-3 clicks down from max on the phone. I sleep about 1.5m away. Of course i have calibrated with hybrid, i would say the level is conversation level - its not low its not loud. Although now you mentioned it, it COULD be a slight lower, maybe 2 clicks lower. Its hard to tell with the US.

Frequency: I have finished 2 cycles each night at the 6 loops recommended, 8 days on 3 days off, 8 days on, 2 days off - as i decided to listen again last night as mentioned above.

Thanks Shannon.

EDIT: for those interested, these are the speakers affordable and high f rated. https://www.sweetwater.com/store/detail/...-bluetooth

Hmmm.  I'm seeing contradictory possibilities here.  It could also be that the volume is a tad too high, but if that's the volume you usually use then that wouldn't be the issue if you're not usually getting this response.  It has to be resistance to execution.  The volume is high enough that we won't want to raise it.  So is the anger growing as you take fewer days off?