10-19-2020, 02:01 PM
Stage 3 Day 10 (2)
I feel weird. I'm tired, sure, but that's beside the point. I'll try to explain it as well as I possibly can.
I feel sad, powerless and angry/irritated. A lot of it comes down from all the feelings of loosing out on things, both in the past and today and in the near future. All the dreams I have, all my self-improvement goals and romantic life and career and my countless projects - I know I can achieve it all and I know I deserve to achieve them. But there is simply too much and so I have to give up at least some of it - and if I give up some I might just as well give it all, procrastination kicks in as I don't know where to start and I'm overwhelmed and this brings irritation and powerlessness.
I know what I need to do. But first I'll go for a long walk. Tomorrow, at dawn, no matter it'll be dark and cold. Then I get to work. And after that, during everything I'll be doing, I'll be asking myself if what I do furthers my goals. And not tangentially like I'd do in months past but directly. I have lots of mental energy I just need to focus and free from anxiety of starting damn work. I have lots of ways of relaxing and being productive at the same time. I'm figuring out the ways I can incorporate weight loss into all of this (this past week was all about it and I know, I wanted to put it forward into Spring but I simply cannot). I can do all of this.
So 1) A long walk 2) Simply get to work and fight anxiety instead of waiting for it to pass 3) Work on your time management.
I might feel anxious and weird but damn do I feel empowered.
I feel weird. I'm tired, sure, but that's beside the point. I'll try to explain it as well as I possibly can.
I feel sad, powerless and angry/irritated. A lot of it comes down from all the feelings of loosing out on things, both in the past and today and in the near future. All the dreams I have, all my self-improvement goals and romantic life and career and my countless projects - I know I can achieve it all and I know I deserve to achieve them. But there is simply too much and so I have to give up at least some of it - and if I give up some I might just as well give it all, procrastination kicks in as I don't know where to start and I'm overwhelmed and this brings irritation and powerlessness.
I know what I need to do. But first I'll go for a long walk. Tomorrow, at dawn, no matter it'll be dark and cold. Then I get to work. And after that, during everything I'll be doing, I'll be asking myself if what I do furthers my goals. And not tangentially like I'd do in months past but directly. I have lots of mental energy I just need to focus and free from anxiety of starting damn work. I have lots of ways of relaxing and being productive at the same time. I'm figuring out the ways I can incorporate weight loss into all of this (this past week was all about it and I know, I wanted to put it forward into Spring but I simply cannot). I can do all of this.
So 1) A long walk 2) Simply get to work and fight anxiety instead of waiting for it to pass 3) Work on your time management.
I might feel anxious and weird but damn do I feel empowered.
For not by numbers of men, nor by measure of body, but by valor of soul is war to be decided.
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
