10-17-2020, 05:16 PM
(10-17-2020, 11:31 AM)NOMAD Wrote: Stage 3, Day 7
I carry an internal sadness. I've carried it for a very long time, but in the past, it's only been obvious when I'm either alone or around the holiday season. Lately it makes itself known during the weekends when I'm not intently focused on work.
I took a walk to day and pondered its source. I don't have any real goals other than getting out of debt, which I'm well on my way to accomplishing. But there's no joy in it. There isn't much that really excites me. My default emotional state is more or less apathetic. When I have down time, I don't know what to do with myself other than rest. A lot of this stems from repeated childhood verbal abuse that essentially crushed my dreams. I lost sight of the things I enjoyed as a kid (mostly nerdy, imagination-based stuff). That part of me has retreated into a hole and I don't know how to bring him back out. I haven't had contact with him in almost 30 years. I think he's crying out to me. I think he needs me. I certainly need him.
I've done inner child meditations with varying degrees of success. If anybody has any tips or suggestions for me, I'm very much open to them.
That’s exactly where I am bro. It’s not a terrible life but it’s not something I want to carry around forever either. What I miss most is excitement, enthusiasm, I just cannot summon it no matter how hard I try.
After much inner work, reading and subliminal-triggered insights I came to the conclusion it’s burnout and/or the result of adverse childhoods experiences (ACEs).
My choice has been E3/E4/LTU6 as first line treatment and possibly OF later (and then E4 again lol). I have been looking for other options to use beside subs but I realized that many could interfere with the subs. I just started working with Heartmath and I am following the recommendations of a scientifically based positive psychology course. None of that is specific to ACEs though. I have been debating professional counseling. I wish I could find something more specific to inner child and ACEs that does not interfere with the subs. Could @Shannon maybe have any specific suggestions?
In other words, I am also very open to any tips or suggestion
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