General Dating

[Shannon]

Most of these are issues I've faced before I started the Alpha set and I sought advice about them at the time. Since using the Alpha set these issues haven't arose, but I've no doubt they will given time. I'm sure I'll mostly play it by ear and trust my programming, but right now I'm setting my own standards so I know them in my own mind before anything happens. I'd like anyones personal input on the following:

What is the least and most amount of time you'd allow a girl to get to know you before sex happens?

I have had sexual relationships begin in as little as 2 hours after meeting, but that only happened once and showed itself to be a serious mistake. If I really connect with a woman, it can be 1-2 days; my last major relationship, I went on a date the first night, refused her request for sex that night, and then let her have it on the second date the next night, and we lasted 4 years. But in most cases, I would say it takes a week or two. I want to get to know her a little bit and know that she's worth being intimate with.

What is the least and most amount of time you'd allow for a non-verbal, non-official but exclusive relationship to occur?

I don't play like that. When there's a relationship that forms that is more than friends, I sit her down and we hash out the rules. What she wants, what I want, what we are willing to agree to, and the rest. If it's exclusive, I want to know it and I want her to know it, and I want to know up front what the rules are so we can have a good shot at not blowing it.

Would you accept an exclusive relationship offer before having sex?

No. The typical woman will take you as a beta if you agree to that, and then resist having sex with you because she can. This is a way of shit testing you, I believe, and she's trying to see what she can get away with in denial of sex (control). What you'll put up with. For me, sex is very much a part of the emotional intimacy and if it's not something she is interested in, I am not going to play games in a relationship over it. Sex is a big part of what makes the relationship. It's now I share myself with my lover emotionally, physically and intimately. It is for me what allows the exclusivity of "us" versus everyone else, to a large degree. I give her access to this special intimate part of me emotionally and physically, and she gives me the same, and that will be our special emotional and physical intimate bond through which we become more, both romantically and otherwise.

What is the least and most amount of time you'd allow for an official, exclusive relationship to occur?

If everything was going well, 1-2 weeks minimum. Maximum for me would be 1-4 months, depending on circumstances.

Same for living together.

I would not extend it to living together in less than 3 months, more probably 6 to 12. Maximum, I don't know.

Same for Marriage and children (doesn't concern me just yet but I'm setting my standards now for the sake of prudence.)

Marriage is not something I take lightly. If she can be with me for 2-3 years without turning into a cheater, liar, thief, backstabber, user, freak, drug user, manipulator, etc. I'll propose, and marry her another 1-2 years after that. So far, three women have made it to fiance and none have made it to the altar.

Obviously circumstances are different with every case. I've had one night stands, and I've also had sex with friends I've known for years before anything happened. I've had undefined relationship that occurred months after knowing the person, and official relationship which happened within the space of a month or two. Generally though what standards would you hold someone too? This is never something I've done before - pre-empted my standards but I'm sure it will be useful as a backup if I need it. If anyone else has any other standards they'd set, chip in!