Dating Unavailable Women [Need Advice]

[risingwarrior]

I've seen a trend in my dating life. I've always dated women who were 'unavailable' emotionally, physically or otherwise. These girls would have a lifestyle busier than me and that'd end up leaving me feel alone for the most part of the relationship. One time I dated this blonde, who was a med student. I would see her like 3 times a month or even less. That leads to me asking for more dates, which turns them off, and leads to a break-up.


The same pattern keeps repeating through out my dating life, till this date. Any way I could break this spell?

[robstar]

I've seen a trend in my dating life. I've always dated women who were 'unavailable' emotionally, physically or otherwise. These girls would have a lifestyle busier than me and that'd end up leaving me feel alone for the most part of the relationship. One time I dated this blonde, who was a med student. I would see her like 3 times a month or even less. That leads to me asking for more dates, which turns them off, and leads to a break-up.


The same pattern keeps repeating through out my dating life, till this date. Any way I could break this spell?

If you date girls like that, don't become exclusive with them, and date more than one.

[AbundanceCH]

risingwarrior, this is a common situation a lot of people go through on their path to becoming the strongest version of themselves and finding inner happiness. The women you date much like everyone else in your life are just teachers sent to teach you lessons you need to learn as you grow into your greatest version.

I been through his same lesson. For a long time the girls I dated could only see me once or twice a week, sometimes less. I had one girl that would only spend at best maybe 3-4 hours with me just one day a week because she was a busy student.

I was so jealous of my friends who would have girls that would spend almost every day with them all day. Why can't I find a girl like that I would ask myself? It was only until later that I realized that it wasn't the girls I was finding but the issue was ME.

Whether they are busy, not busy, the whole "if you were brad pitt they would be spending all day with you" excuse or whatever, the fact of the matter is YOU ARE NEEDY. YOU ARE NOT HAPPY ALONE.

You need to learn to be happy alone. Once you are happy alone and your happiness comes not girls but from inside of you then you have mastered the lesson that life is trying to teach you with all these women.

After I mastered this lesson all the women I have manifested into my life have been ones that are crazy about me and spending time with me. The reason for that is because I have become a complete man. The whole notion of "finding your other half" is a lie. That in itself means that you are broken and looking for your other piece.

To be a complete man is to be a man that is complete within himself and does not need outside validation. You don't need a woman or other people to feel happy because your happiness comes from within. This was the difference between me and my friends. They were a lot more complete than I was. Because of that they attracted women that wanted to be around their completeness.

If you are needy you will tend to attract unavailable girls because the universe wants you to man up and learn this lesson (to find inner happiness and learning to be happy alone). If you are complete you will tend to attract women that are either complete themselves or will want to spend a lot of time with you because they can feel your completeness and that you don't need them. Ive seen this over and over again.

Start focusing on yourself more and your goals. You need to have goals which have nothing to do with women. Start reading books, work on your hobbies whatever. Make yourself stronger on an inner level.

I hope you read this and realize it has nothing to do with the girls but more to do with how you are still very much weak as a man in some ways (no offense) and need to grow stronger. Find your inner happiness and learn to be happy alone.

Before I used to have to ask women to see them. The only times I ask to see a woman now is if I just met her and we are on our 1st,2nd,3rd date etc. After I fk them I don't ask to see women. They all ask for my time i'm completely happy being alone on a saturday night working on my goals I don't need them. If they want to see me they can ask me.

[risingwarrior]

I read that and man, it clicked. It finally clicked. The pattern is me unable to spend time alone or be with myself. I think I need to change myself before I attract the relationship I want.

Do you think that if I focus on making new friends, pursuing my goals, etch. my current relationship will improve or should I move on? I'm gonna start doing that right away.

Thanks a ton man for taking the time to write this out!

risingwarrior, this is a common situation a lot of people go through on their path to becoming the strongest version of themselves and finding inner happiness. The women you date much like everyone else in your life are just teachers sent to teach you lessons you need to learn as you grow into your greatest version.

I been through his same lesson. For a long time the girls I dated could only see me once or twice a week, sometimes less. I had one girl that would only spend at best maybe 3-4 hours with me just one day a week because she was a busy student.

I was so jealous of my friends who would have girls that would spend almost every day with them all day. Why can't I find a girl like that I would ask myself? It was only until later that I realized that it wasn't the girls I was finding but the issue was ME.

Whether they are busy, not busy, the whole "if you were brad pitt they would be spending all day with you" excuse or whatever, the fact of the matter is YOU ARE NEEDY. YOU ARE NOT HAPPY ALONE.

You need to learn to be happy alone. Once you are happy alone and your happiness comes not girls but from inside of you then you have mastered the lesson that life is trying to teach you with all these women.

After I mastered this lesson all the women I have manifested into my life have been ones that are crazy about me and spending time with me. The reason for that is because I have become a complete man. The whole notion of "finding your other half" is a lie. That in itself means that you are broken and looking for your other piece.

To be a complete man is to be a man that is complete within himself and does not need outside validation. You don't need a woman or other people to feel happy because your happiness comes from within. This was the difference between me and my friends. They were a lot more complete than I was. Because of that they attracted women that wanted to be around their completeness.

If you are needy you will tend to attract unavailable girls because the universe wants you to man up and learn this lesson (to find inner happiness and learning to be happy alone). If you are complete you will tend to attract women that are either complete themselves or will want to spend a lot of time with you because they can feel your completeness and that you don't need them. Ive seen this over and over again.

Start focusing on yourself more and your goals. You need to have goals which have nothing to do with women. Start reading books, work on your hobbies whatever. Make yourself stronger on an inner level.

I hope you read this and realize it has nothing to do with the girls but more to do with how you are still very much weak as a man in some ways (no offense) and need to grow stronger. Find your inner happiness and learn to be happy alone.

Before I used to have to ask women to see them. The only times I ask to see a woman now is if I just met her and we are on our 1st,2nd,3rd date etc. After I fk them I don't ask to see women. They all ask for my time i'm completely happy being alone on a saturday night working on my goals I don't need them. If they want to see me they can ask me.

[robstar]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting sex and affection more than "3 times a month". It is simple, when you meet a girl who is unavailable like this do not give them exclusivity, save that for girls who are available for you.

[RisingSon]

Haha. Wow. Just reminds me of how fucked society is. And no, it's not entirely him being needy.

First thing, you have to face that you were nothing but a fuckboi. Women these days are "empowered" and have a plethora of options, so they take full advantage of it. They can be anything they want - "you go girl" - and have constant source of dopamine rush plus validation from their phone apps if they didn't get enough fake compliments already from their friends. So, you are seeing unchecked female hypergamy and branch swinging, where they are never satisfied and always thinking they can do better by trading up. She has no remorse in leading you on or anything like that. Emotional needs? Pfff! What are those? A serious relationship doesn't exist with these women; they are ruined. "A woman is only as faithful as her options" but these ones will only end up as lonely old spinster cat ladies because they were sold a lie of fake empowerment and ultimately a life that is unfulfilling.

Some may shout that it's insecure to want a girlfriend or a wife that is needy and emotionally/physically dependent on you, the man, but that's how it was in previous centuries and it worked out pretty well. Women these days don't respect men nor need them so it's no wonder they show such lame behavior. Of course, you would also have to realize how close most of them are to sociopaths to really understand this. You guys can keep playing a game of who cares the least and who is the most independent lol but unfortunately that's not entirely sustainable. Society is fucked.

Being unavailable as a man is more normal than her doing so. Wrongly taught unfeminine women tend to mimic what behavior they find attractive in the opposite sex which is a huge mistake. No, acting like a leader does not make them sexy or desirable, even if that behavior can and does attract them! I say this because traditionally women wouldn't have a problem with polygamy, but the opposite situation doesn't necessarily work out. Although lately, we have seen a rise in the cuckold epidemic or girls openly coming out as having two boyfriends who know about each other! I take that as another huge sign of societal decay.

Addit: Women can redeem themselves by returning to virtues like motherhood, family, humbleness, and openness.
This article backs up some of what I said:
https://www.dangerandplay.com/2017/02/10...ake-drugs/

[AbundanceCH]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting sex and affection more than "3 times a month". It is simple, when you meet a girl who is unavailable like this do not give them exclusivity, save that for girls who are available for you.

This is true as well. What I said and what you say are both true. But if you are a strong enough man that is busy enough with his own life you are not going to be feeling all lonely and sad because you don't have some girl.

because you are either
a) strong enough and focused enough in your goals and your purpose which has nothing to do with women
b) you are not exclusive and got other women on the side

Being a strong man means having standards and if your standards are having a woman that you can see on a weekly basis than you are not going to settle for less and become exclusive no matter how hot she is. For a woman to become exclusive with you she has to meet your criteria and IT GOES WAY BEYONG JUST LOOKS.

When you are strong enough the criteria list is long and it goes way beyond looks. When you are not strong enough you put up with stuff like them only seeing you 3 times a month and you let them be exclusive. That's not strong.

Haha. Wow. Just reminds me of how ***** society is. And no, it's not entirely him being needy.

First thing, you have to face that you were nothing but a fuckboi. Women these days are "empowered" and have a plethora of options, so they take full advantage of it. They can be anything they want - "you go girl" - and have constant source of dopamine rush plus validation from their phone apps if they didn't get enough fake compliments already from their friends. So, you are seeing unchecked female hypergamy and branch swinging, where they are never satisfied and always thinking they can do better by trading up. She has no remorse in leading you on or anything like that. Emotional needs? Pfff! What are those? A serious relationship doesn't exist with these women; they are ruined. "A woman is only as faithful as her options" but these ones will only end up as lonely old spinster cat ladies because they were sold a lie of fake empowerment and ultimately a life that is unfulfilling.

Some may shout that it's insecure to want a girlfriend or a wife that is needy and emotionally/physically dependent on you, the man, but that's how it was in previous centuries and it worked out pretty well. Women these days don't respect men nor need them so it's no wonder they show such lame behavior. Of course, you would also have to realize how close most of them are to sociopaths to really understand this. You guys can keep playing a game of who cares the least and who is the most independent lol but unfortunately that's not entirely sustainable. Society is *****.

Being unavailable as a man is more normal than her doing so. Wrongly taught unfeminine women tend to mimic what behavior they find attractive in the opposite sex which is a huge mistake. No, acting like a leader does not make them sexy or desirable, even if that behavior can and does attract them! I say this because traditionally women wouldn't have a problem with polygamy, but the opposite situation doesn't necessarily work out.

Here's the deal

WHO CARES! And what I mean by this is why are most guys focusing on how fked up women are rather than focusing on themselves and themselves only?

Don't think i'm disagreeing with you because I'm not. A lot of women are fked up in this day and age. Things are fked up i agree with you!

But...you shouldn't care because the only thing you should care about is yourself! You are not going to change them you can only change yourself. The problem a lot if not most guys have is that they don't take personal responsibility for their reality. They blame women and how fked up society is for their problems.

There are COUNTLESS amazing women that are not fked up. They are everywhere. What you believe is what you attract into your life. The moment you start believing that most women are fked up is the moment you will encounter nothing but fked up women. This is just basic law of attraction. Most women are good.

You can't attract a ferrari if you yourself are an old beat up 1980's pinto!

So while what you say is true (a lot of women are fked up) if you are a man that is focused on becoming his greatest version and you are of high values, masculinity, standards, self respect and integrity and is focused on a purpose or goals, than none of that stuff will affect you. It's only when we are not at the level we need to be that we are affected by all this stuff.

And i'll repeat this again. You can blame society and how a lot of women are fked up now a days for women not wanting to spend time with you.

But I have seen this over and over again and you have too if you analyze most of the men who are successful with women. The better the man and higher value the man you are the more a woman wants to be in your world.

It's that simple. Forget about society and how fked up it is...focus on improving yourself little by little. It's the secret to keeping a woman hooked and wanting to spend time with you.