Round 3 - Day 6 out of 6.
I got my grades yesterday and I am 20 credits under to meet my conditional offer for the degree. At first, I was pretty devastated, embarrassed and felt like a failure. I even had a little cry. But after a reassuring message from my GF, and some thinking, searching and metaphorical brainstorming, I was able to feel much better and maybe even start to look at it is a blessing in disguise. I will still be going to university and I am still moving out of my parent's house and going to live with my GF without a doubt but will have to go through clearing, and do a degree in a slightly different subject or completely different and with a foundational year. I am just waiting to hear back from the university as I sent them an email and laid out my situation. Waiting sucks ass.
I spent a few days with my GF's mother, 2 brothers and one of their partners. As they were celebrating an occasion. We had lots of tasty food, BBQ and played games outside. I even drank quite a bit of alcohol which is rare for me, as I only like to do it if I am really feeling it and think it is worth it, extremely rare. But I did and I had a really good time, it was really nice being with her family, and playing games outside in the (not too hot, but just enough with a cool breeze) sun.
When I came home though, I really noticed the energy difference between being there with her family and then being around my family, unfortunately. Around hers felt light, free and happy, around mine feels heavy, serious and kind of dramatic in an energetic, emotional way. The contrasts have really highlighted things for me. Makes me really look forward to going even more.
I have had some really interesting dreams, I have really enjoyed quite a few of them. It is really hard to describe how they are different from normal dreams I have, they just feel deeper and seem to have more depth, for lack of better words. I have dreamed of snakes a few more times, I have never dreamed of so many snakes before. To be true before this program I don't think I ever dreamed of snakes. But yeah I definitely look forward to the dreams.
I am pretty tired from this program, it feels like exhaustion, but I think I am able to function normally. There is also an element of being exhausted and then trying to nap, but not being able to sleep. So yeah it has a different feel to it.
I have noticed other things, but I am not going to say one way or another yet, as I think this might be like peeling away layers of an onion.
I am looking forward to my nights off again, but I also seem to look forward to my nights on again
I got my grades yesterday and I am 20 credits under to meet my conditional offer for the degree. At first, I was pretty devastated, embarrassed and felt like a failure. I even had a little cry. But after a reassuring message from my GF, and some thinking, searching and metaphorical brainstorming, I was able to feel much better and maybe even start to look at it is a blessing in disguise. I will still be going to university and I am still moving out of my parent's house and going to live with my GF without a doubt but will have to go through clearing, and do a degree in a slightly different subject or completely different and with a foundational year. I am just waiting to hear back from the university as I sent them an email and laid out my situation. Waiting sucks ass.
I spent a few days with my GF's mother, 2 brothers and one of their partners. As they were celebrating an occasion. We had lots of tasty food, BBQ and played games outside. I even drank quite a bit of alcohol which is rare for me, as I only like to do it if I am really feeling it and think it is worth it, extremely rare. But I did and I had a really good time, it was really nice being with her family, and playing games outside in the (not too hot, but just enough with a cool breeze) sun.
When I came home though, I really noticed the energy difference between being there with her family and then being around my family, unfortunately. Around hers felt light, free and happy, around mine feels heavy, serious and kind of dramatic in an energetic, emotional way. The contrasts have really highlighted things for me. Makes me really look forward to going even more.
I have had some really interesting dreams, I have really enjoyed quite a few of them. It is really hard to describe how they are different from normal dreams I have, they just feel deeper and seem to have more depth, for lack of better words. I have dreamed of snakes a few more times, I have never dreamed of so many snakes before. To be true before this program I don't think I ever dreamed of snakes. But yeah I definitely look forward to the dreams.
I am pretty tired from this program, it feels like exhaustion, but I think I am able to function normally. There is also an element of being exhausted and then trying to nap, but not being able to sleep. So yeah it has a different feel to it.
I have noticed other things, but I am not going to say one way or another yet, as I think this might be like peeling away layers of an onion.
I am looking forward to my nights off again, but I also seem to look forward to my nights on again
