Shannon's OF 5.75G Experience

[Shannon]

Hye Shannon, this sharing relates to a deep form of fear,so I decided to post it here Next time ,I'll probably post this type of thing in either my journal or your public journal. in short (Ha!)  Today

  I saw something  in me that I've known about for years...it is a form of fear, and that is clear as a bell. Its the  "Wow things are going  really well,and IM surfing the cosmic waves for about two days  and then this fear comes in ,of either its NOT fully OK for you to be happy and at ease,out of Fear that something bad is going to happen,or some other some such thing is gonna come along and f**k Iit up or it ll show up in the form of a disappointment, hurt like hell, and related.
   It's like a holding pattern. its ok to be some what happy and at ease,but not that much,and not that often. All apparently in the name of keeping safe,secure & Ok!! I will later try to formulate my thoughts and feelings around  more of this later.,more 'cohesively' as I really want to get this out in the open and do it justice by addressing it accurately and as clearly as possible.

Im doing some cleansing-detox ing right now so Im not at clear headed,as such.
Its a different kind of sabatoge though and all connected in,rooted  & based in FEAR.  There's Guilt  rapped around this stuff as well.

     I know you're swamped with a  "It" load of
work,but man oh man,when the day and time comes for UMS2  to be released,I can hardy wait to jump on it and start dissolving these massive, annoying,troubling Fears!! something is really bugging me and trying to bring me down!!

 Light at the proverbial Tunnel's end!! Yahh- hooo!!

I'm looking forward to getting that out as well.  

You're going to find, when you make it through the processing of and removal of what you fear, that the freedom is amazing.  It's like you were living in a tiny cage before and it just doesn't fit anymore.  But it's not all roses and chocolates getting there.  You know some days there will be challenging things to deal with along the way.  But I've done the best I could to make the process as easy as possible.

There is definitely growth as a result of this thing, though!