07-06-2020, 01:48 PM
(This post was last modified: 07-06-2020, 04:33 PM by ncbeareatingman.)
Hye Shannon, this sharing relates to a deep form of fear,so I decided to post it here Next time ,I'll probably post this type of thing in either my journal or your public journal. in short (Ha!) Today
I saw something in me that I've known about for years...it is a form of fear, and that is clear as a bell. Its the "Wow things are going really well,and IM surfing the cosmic waves for about two days and then this fear comes in ,of either its NOT fully OK for you to be happy and at ease,out of Fear that something bad is going to happen,or some other some such thing is gonna come along and f**k it up or it ll show up in the form of a disappointment, hurt like hell, and related.
It's like a holding pattern. its ok to be some what happy and at ease,but not that much,and not that often. All apparently in the name of keeping safe,secure & Ok!! I will later try to formulate my thoughts and feelings around more of this ..,more 'cohesively' as I really want to get this out in the open and do it justice by addressing it accurately and as clearly as possible.
Im doing some cleansing-detox ing right now so Im not at clear headed,as I'd like!
Its a different kind of sabatoge though and all connected in, rooted & based in FEAR. There's Guilt rapped around this stuff as well. Guilt: Another form of fear based limitedness designed or employed by da big boss Mr.Fear,to either slow the process down,or shut it down slowly thru punishment manifested in some form or fashion
I know you're swamped with a "It" load of
work,but man oh man,when the day and time comes for UMS2 to be released,I can hardy wait to jump on it and start dissolving these massive, annoying,troubling Fears!! something is really bugging me and trying to bring me down!!
Light at the proverbial Tunnel's end!! Yahh- hooo!!
I saw something in me that I've known about for years...it is a form of fear, and that is clear as a bell. Its the "Wow things are going really well,and IM surfing the cosmic waves for about two days and then this fear comes in ,of either its NOT fully OK for you to be happy and at ease,out of Fear that something bad is going to happen,or some other some such thing is gonna come along and f**k it up or it ll show up in the form of a disappointment, hurt like hell, and related.
It's like a holding pattern. its ok to be some what happy and at ease,but not that much,and not that often. All apparently in the name of keeping safe,secure & Ok!! I will later try to formulate my thoughts and feelings around more of this ..,more 'cohesively' as I really want to get this out in the open and do it justice by addressing it accurately and as clearly as possible.
Im doing some cleansing-detox ing right now so Im not at clear headed,as I'd like!
Its a different kind of sabatoge though and all connected in, rooted & based in FEAR. There's Guilt rapped around this stuff as well. Guilt: Another form of fear based limitedness designed or employed by da big boss Mr.Fear,to either slow the process down,or shut it down slowly thru punishment manifested in some form or fashion
I know you're swamped with a "It" load of
work,but man oh man,when the day and time comes for UMS2 to be released,I can hardy wait to jump on it and start dissolving these massive, annoying,troubling Fears!! something is really bugging me and trying to bring me down!!
Light at the proverbial Tunnel's end!! Yahh- hooo!!
Sherlock-your're an amazing fellow,Watson.Though You,yourself,not luminescent, you're an amazing conductor of Light"/"Loving You ,Heals Me"-an-NDE'er.""Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting."-Trust is abouve ALL else!!"Money,does NOT change people,it ONLY reveals them!"
