07-06-2020, 02:20 AM
Completed round 2, 6 nights. Tonight starting the night off 1 out of 3.
I wish I could sleep all day and all night. I feel this heavy feeling emotionally and it is intense. It feels like I have a wound somewhere between my heart and solar plexus and something is prodding around in there with a scalpel. This week is different, I am looking forward to my 3 nights off. 8 months of this is gonna be a boot camp in itself it feels like.
I am just expressing what I feel, this can change obviously. I feel like I'm going through all this alone in physical life, no one would understand what I am going through. Nothing I can do about that, I just have to keep going.
One thing that is annoying me, is I keep having doubts coming up about things. I know it is just the way I am directing my thoughts, but my thoughts are going there easier and deep down I know it is not what I want. It feels like it is tied into how I am feeling in general though, so looking forward to this passing.
I wish I could sleep all day and all night. I feel this heavy feeling emotionally and it is intense. It feels like I have a wound somewhere between my heart and solar plexus and something is prodding around in there with a scalpel. This week is different, I am looking forward to my 3 nights off. 8 months of this is gonna be a boot camp in itself it feels like.
I am just expressing what I feel, this can change obviously. I feel like I'm going through all this alone in physical life, no one would understand what I am going through. Nothing I can do about that, I just have to keep going.
One thing that is annoying me, is I keep having doubts coming up about things. I know it is just the way I am directing my thoughts, but my thoughts are going there easier and deep down I know it is not what I want. It feels like it is tied into how I am feeling in general though, so looking forward to this passing.
