06-04-2020, 08:45 AM
Stage 1, Day 26:
Since the last Update:
- Had a patient over the phone tell me I have a rough voice, I could've been a John Wayne.
- Ex wife seems to want me to show affection in subtle ways. for a while feelings returned since we've both grown as human beings but they've been eroding again. Even women I had crushes on or were talking to before AM6, I no longer think about or make any effort to speak with.
- Even though there have not been no signs of potential confrontation with my management team, I've been running scenarios in my head unconsciously, waiting for the day they say or do something stupid so I can verbally tear them apart. Their incompetence is sickening. They're ok as human beings...sort of. As "leaders" though I have no respect for them, they make it tough to even want to show them compassion.
- A sales woman just came knocking at my door. Kind of surprised anyone is even doing door-to-door sales at a time like this. Anyway, she was kind of cute but I noticed that the whole time she spoke and tried smiling at me, I stayed stone-faced with no reaction. Once her pitch was done, I politely declined her offer and wished her well. Not that a woman's looks these days has much of an effect on how I treat her because I consider way more important factors, but truthfully that's probably the coldest and non-reactive I've ever been towards a pretty girl that I didn't know.
- I'm back to taking control of conversations. I even stay silent when I'm done expressing myself just to see if others will contribute to the conversation, and I'm comfortable with the silence. If they're silent for too long or If I actually have something to do though I'll excuse myself without hesitation.
Since the last Update:
- Had a patient over the phone tell me I have a rough voice, I could've been a John Wayne.
- Ex wife seems to want me to show affection in subtle ways. for a while feelings returned since we've both grown as human beings but they've been eroding again. Even women I had crushes on or were talking to before AM6, I no longer think about or make any effort to speak with.
- Even though there have not been no signs of potential confrontation with my management team, I've been running scenarios in my head unconsciously, waiting for the day they say or do something stupid so I can verbally tear them apart. Their incompetence is sickening. They're ok as human beings...sort of. As "leaders" though I have no respect for them, they make it tough to even want to show them compassion.
- A sales woman just came knocking at my door. Kind of surprised anyone is even doing door-to-door sales at a time like this. Anyway, she was kind of cute but I noticed that the whole time she spoke and tried smiling at me, I stayed stone-faced with no reaction. Once her pitch was done, I politely declined her offer and wished her well. Not that a woman's looks these days has much of an effect on how I treat her because I consider way more important factors, but truthfully that's probably the coldest and non-reactive I've ever been towards a pretty girl that I didn't know.
- I'm back to taking control of conversations. I even stay silent when I'm done expressing myself just to see if others will contribute to the conversation, and I'm comfortable with the silence. If they're silent for too long or If I actually have something to do though I'll excuse myself without hesitation.
