Hello Shannon. I’m reading a book and came over the term “high value man”. I just would like to see if this definition goes in line with what you had in mind when designing AM.
Sorry for being a pain in the ass with the rule 20 stuff the other day.
Sorry for being a pain in the ass with the rule 20 stuff the other day.
Quote:Are You a High-Value Man?
This book is for high-value men. Sometimes that term refers to a man’s income, or to the bounty on his head. Here it refers to the kind of man, rich or poor, whom women seek out for long-term commitment.
I didn’t invent the term. I’m not that clever. It comes from evolutionary psychology, a field of study explaining the behavior that helped humanity thrive. We have an amazing number of mental and behavioral predispositions that evolutionary psychologists refer to as adaptations. They keep us alive.
For example, worrying about the future is an adaptation that compels us to store food for lean times. A sense of humor is an adaptation that helps men attract women. Even pessimism appears to be adaptive. It’s a variety of error-management, a mental calculus that helps us prevent unpleasant surprises. It can be useful so long as it doesn’t get out of hand.
The high-value man, according to evolutionary psychologists, is one who possesses what women look for. In an outstanding review of evolutionary research, David Schmitt (2005) described the most basic, animalistic traits men and women seek in each other.
“Men place a greater premium on signals of fertility and reproductive value such as a woman’s youth and physical appearance,” he wrote. No surprise there.
“In contrast, women place a greater premium on a man’s status, resources, ambition, and maturity—cues relevant to his ability for long- term provisioning—and to his kindness, generosity, and emotional openness—cues to his willingness to provision women and their children.” Again, no surprises.
I know what some of you are thinking: we are all complex individuals with unique motivations. I agree, but beneath our individual complexities are ancient predispositions driving our desires. Men, in general, prefer a nice hip-to-waist ratio. Women, in general, prefer a nice debt-to-asset ratio.
So what constitutes a high-value man in the modern world? It appears little has changed since our ancestors were hunting and gathering. A man’s value to women boils down to those two words Dr. Schmitt italicized: ability and willingness .
High-value men have the ability to be long-term providers. That doesn’t necessarily mean they’re wealthy. It simply means they possess certain qualities like foresight, discipline, a social network, resourcefulness, intelligence, and humor.
High-value men also have the willingness to stick around. Willingness is evident in qualities like generosity, emotional stability, and the ability to maintain emotional bonds. Maybe that’s why so many young couples end up with dogs. Puppies were probably invented so women could test men’s willingness to commit to a noisy, hungry creature with poor bowel control.
Essentially, the high-value man is open to commitment and professionally squared away—or at least he’s headed in that direction. I’d like to add one more trait to the list: masculinity. The high-value man doesn’t relinquish his testicles or apologize for possessing them. He cultivates those male qualities that benefit himself and the people he loves. In our society there is a small, noisy contingent of women (and a few men) who insist that masculinity is destructive and outdated, but I can assure you they are the minority.
When I surveyed women a few years ago for a different project, I asked them what they liked most about men. Most of the women were quite vocal about the qualities they appreciate in a man:
“Humor. Protectiveness. Strength.”
“Their sense of humor, their masculinity and strength.” “Their confidence, strength, and tendency to be easy-going.”
Strength and level-headedness were a major theme. They expressed adoration for masculine traits like independence and competitiveness. In my decade as a psychologist, I’ve heard plenty of complaints about husbands and boyfriends, but I have never heard a woman wish that her man was more like a girl.
Ability, willingness, and a masculine nature. If you possess these traits, then you possess what most women seek in a husband or partner. Congratulations. You’re a high-value man. It’s good to be wanted, isn’t it?
