Shannon's Journal Discussion Thread, Vol. 5

[Shannon]

Shannon, could you give example of a time when you had use of the leadership training from AM and how it helped you?

A lot of what I would talk about has to do with having it transition me from refusing to allow myself to be led by my girlfriend, and leading her instead.  At that time, I was dating a model, not the hottest woman I ever dated, but she looked like Gabriel Union.  This woman was strong willed and used to getting her way through sex, manipulation, lies and whatever else it took to achieve, but she was also really good at self deception, so I couldn't tell when she was lying for the first year of our relationship because she genuinely believed her own lies.

When the dam broke, I was in a bad place emotionally.  I had a situation I could not accept (cheating, being lied to, etc.) forcing me to deal with a fear I could not face (being alone).  I remember one day before she came home from work realizing in no uncertain terms that I had to give her an ultimatum: stop cheating and get serious, or get out of my life.  That scared the hell out of me, and while I was taking a shower I remember I broke down crying out of fear of her walking out.  The only reason I had the courage to actually stand up with no tears and genuinely deliver that ultimatum without flinching was Alpha Male.  

She walked in that door and I hit her with it like a lead brick, drill sergeant style.  No fear, no hesitation, nothing but my way or the highway.  Looking back, had I been further along in my development, I would simply have told her that she blew it, and get out.  But for me to go from so terrified of being alone that I would let a woman do anything she wanted to me and behind my back, to giving an ultimatum without hesitation was a huge change for me.

She bent to my will.  Unfortunately, she was the type who loved a strong man, but would never stop trying to test, push boundaries and get away with shit, and it wasn't long before she was back at it.  Lying, cheating, stealing, drugs, etc.  That second move was even harder, but I did kick her out.  

You might be asking yourself, "How does this apply to leadership?"  Well I was, for the first time in my life, leading myself through and past my biggest fears, and that took a lot of leadership.

Later on, we tried to get back together (because I was being willfully delusional) but she kept doing it, and even after she stopped, the fallout was just too much.  And I ended it for good, another very difficult thing to do, because some part of me was willing to do and accept and believe anything to keep her.  I think part of that was that she had some sort of way of manipulating my emotions and sex drive that I didn't understand for a long time.

So the AM leadership training got me this beautiful girlfriend who loved sex like she loved to breathe, and got me out of that relationship with her when I would not have had the strength or will to otherwise.  Without AM, I firmly believe that I would have ended up either dead or in prison as a result of that relationship.  As it turned out, I was fine, and she ended up in prison.  (And for something incredibly stupid, too, which you would never guess in a million years unless you knew she was an active alcoholic at the time.  Which, somehow, I hadn't figured out.)