Not to hijack Shannon, but that reminds me of my situation with girls.
DMSI/you are saying Point Z is possible, where girls around me that I'm very attracted to, CAN be not only very sexually attracted to me after all somehow, but then proceed to drive the interaction instead of me tending to feel like I'm driving it to boot, and that they can aggressively pursue me to have sex with them. To me, a 38 year old virgin who hasn't dated a girl or kissed one before, this seems so extreme, it's so difficult, if not impossible, for me to truly get behind at least initially. It's just way too much to wrap my head around as being possible from this level is all. I think that is the biggest stumbling block, probably more so than fear. That it just seems so far out of the realm of my reality, girls I am attracted to, actually liking me and valuing me as a REAL option to them beyond some friend zone BS as usual, and somehow chasing me to have sex. The whole concept of that seems so impossible and unrealistic for me. Coming from my position, it seems so ludicrous, so it's very hard to internalise. The self esteem and self worth, self validation are always at such a low level due to this lack of success with girls. There's almost no positive, tangible, reliable feedback to those 3 things and help them grow. So, it's a sense of always feeling bogged down, chasing fumes of those 3 things, and never making progress with girls, and always feeling beneath them and that they're out of my reach. Which of course makes the design goal "Point Z" even more distant from my reality.
I think it may be so hard to imagine, because the only thing I have to go off of, is either movies or tv shows, showing attractive girls chasing guys for sex. I literally don't have any of those kinds of experiences to draw off of. It's sad...but true. But even then, it's still a third-person experience, so I really have no frame of reference for such a concept. I've seen girls do that for other guys over time, so I DO know what it looks like, but again, it's third-person. Girls just don't act that way for ME, I'm just not that "hot bad boy guy" they drool for, so I just have no idea what it feels like. Being in such a deep drought for my life with girls, being the "amazing great guy (that they aren't attracted to)" and essentially only having hugs with them my whole life (again, pathetic but it's real talk...), seeing something so far out of my furthest point of reality, is very hard to get behind I think.
So, piggybacking off your previous post and concept, how can the sub take someone from such a low level of aptitude and understanding and even belief in it's premise, to fully achieving the goal of said program? I know it may naturally not be reality yet in a sub of course. I just mean, conceptually, how can that be achieved in a sub? Or rather, CAN that be achieved? Perhaps it is just too far of a leap, which I can respect if so.
Just trying to allow a window into my thought process etc. in the hopes that something of value can be gleamed since FRM/DMSI work is ongoing now. I have no intention of an argument or debate, I just wanted to open up a window for R&D sake.
Thank you for everything, Shannon. I look forward to the next installment of both FRM and DMSI.
EDIT: Perhaps it the next version doesn't result in a large change in results for many, the "dam breaking" like you say, it might be worth it to explore another option. I saw your post about a "stage 0" for AM7, great idea. A step up stage, to prepare people for the program. That might be a good idea here. Maybe it's just too much of an ask for some of us initially I guess, unfortunately. Hopefully not, one stage is best, but in the end, that's a solid option, better than nothing.
DMSI/you are saying Point Z is possible, where girls around me that I'm very attracted to, CAN be not only very sexually attracted to me after all somehow, but then proceed to drive the interaction instead of me tending to feel like I'm driving it to boot, and that they can aggressively pursue me to have sex with them. To me, a 38 year old virgin who hasn't dated a girl or kissed one before, this seems so extreme, it's so difficult, if not impossible, for me to truly get behind at least initially. It's just way too much to wrap my head around as being possible from this level is all. I think that is the biggest stumbling block, probably more so than fear. That it just seems so far out of the realm of my reality, girls I am attracted to, actually liking me and valuing me as a REAL option to them beyond some friend zone BS as usual, and somehow chasing me to have sex. The whole concept of that seems so impossible and unrealistic for me. Coming from my position, it seems so ludicrous, so it's very hard to internalise. The self esteem and self worth, self validation are always at such a low level due to this lack of success with girls. There's almost no positive, tangible, reliable feedback to those 3 things and help them grow. So, it's a sense of always feeling bogged down, chasing fumes of those 3 things, and never making progress with girls, and always feeling beneath them and that they're out of my reach. Which of course makes the design goal "Point Z" even more distant from my reality.
I think it may be so hard to imagine, because the only thing I have to go off of, is either movies or tv shows, showing attractive girls chasing guys for sex. I literally don't have any of those kinds of experiences to draw off of. It's sad...but true. But even then, it's still a third-person experience, so I really have no frame of reference for such a concept. I've seen girls do that for other guys over time, so I DO know what it looks like, but again, it's third-person. Girls just don't act that way for ME, I'm just not that "hot bad boy guy" they drool for, so I just have no idea what it feels like. Being in such a deep drought for my life with girls, being the "amazing great guy (that they aren't attracted to)" and essentially only having hugs with them my whole life (again, pathetic but it's real talk...), seeing something so far out of my furthest point of reality, is very hard to get behind I think.
So, piggybacking off your previous post and concept, how can the sub take someone from such a low level of aptitude and understanding and even belief in it's premise, to fully achieving the goal of said program? I know it may naturally not be reality yet in a sub of course. I just mean, conceptually, how can that be achieved in a sub? Or rather, CAN that be achieved? Perhaps it is just too far of a leap, which I can respect if so.
Just trying to allow a window into my thought process etc. in the hopes that something of value can be gleamed since FRM/DMSI work is ongoing now. I have no intention of an argument or debate, I just wanted to open up a window for R&D sake.
Thank you for everything, Shannon. I look forward to the next installment of both FRM and DMSI.
EDIT: Perhaps it the next version doesn't result in a large change in results for many, the "dam breaking" like you say, it might be worth it to explore another option. I saw your post about a "stage 0" for AM7, great idea. A step up stage, to prepare people for the program. That might be a good idea here. Maybe it's just too much of an ask for some of us initially I guess, unfortunately. Hopefully not, one stage is best, but in the end, that's a solid option, better than nothing.
