Shannon's Journal Discussion Thread, Vol. 5

[Shannon]

I'll probably be working on DMSI alongside LTU in the round robin queue.  Not to worry.  It's in there.

If it has stagnated results-wise, I suggest you take some time off and see how things settle out.

Thank god. I was worried it'd be another 6-12 months with that post. I know LTU is a big program, and others were listed there too. Got worried.

Yeah, I don't want to get into anything at all now, but I was just considering whether or not it was worth continuing. Sounds like maybe no. Disappointing to hear in a sense, but I understand. It is depressing at times is all, to not be sure if girls around me are feeling anything from the program. Latest interaction with a girl I known and like, kinda wrecked my confidence. So maybe that is colouring my feelings here. But overall, seems like the confidence/self esteem/self validation etc. is always on fumes. It's so hard to build on them with women because of such low levels of positive feedback. I know how vital they are to success, but trying to build them to allow the program to work with the feedback I get is so insanely hard to do. Even if it's positive feedback, it's small and extremely inconsistent. Very frustrating at times...but something I'm extremely used to. Maybe the new version can finally change that, we'll see. Maybe those "foundation" things in the program, need MASSIVE buffs going forward. They have a lot to overcome in my case, that's for sure :/.

I'll think about this now. Thank you, Shannon.

I'm wondering when you're going to understand that the lack of self esteem, etc. is the result of a cycle you're in, endlessly making the same moves, and that it boils down to self sabotage.  That means that what the program needs isn't more buff for those elements, it needs to find some way to break your cycle, or get you to break your cycle.  Stop self sabotaging.  I have tried everything I can think of, and you seem to have found a way to beat my best efforts.  You know what it is?  Some part of you convinces you that X is true when it's not, and then builds on that to legitimize it's desires and voila, self sabotage.  You have some part or parts of you literally creating your own little reality so you can maintain the status quo.  I don't know if there is any way to get past that on my end.  Any instruction I give you, that part of you can simply claim does not match "reality" (whatever it makes up) and then deny and/or refuse to execute it.  FRM 4.9 and some of these other things I have come up with are certainly worth a shot, but ultimately, no matter what I do, some part of you has to stop doing that or else you will die a virgin.  And if it uses the "invent whatever reality I like, discount the instructions because of that, discount any results gotten and ignore them, re-focus on the invented reality, maintain the invented reality, repeat" method successfully against anything I come up with... only you are going to be able to change this.

The only thing I don't know how to influence is a mind that lies to and deludes itself.  Not saying you do this at a conscious level, but some part of you does it.  There may be no way for me to get past that.  So if we hit 6G and it still doesn't work, the only thing left that you could do is change yourself.

Ultimately, nobody outside you can change you.  You should have known that all along.  You have to cooperate with the script, which is you changing you.  And if you don't want to change because of a script I created, and you have run out of alternate options, there is only the man in the mirror standing in your way.