02-24-2020, 11:44 AM
Updates incoming. This one's a doozy, and apologies to anyone who might not be able to follow along its freeform prose presentation, as I'm also finding it difficult to understand some of it even though I lived it. Long post warning.
My last post before this was in the first week of December 2019. December turned out to have a very interesting second half. I was informed prior that we didn't technically have the 23rd, 24th, nor the 26th off for holiday, so I went in Christmas week expecting to do my usual work. On Tuesday Dec 24 I received a call from my employer, a contractor of tech consultants, that the firm I was at is laying off contractors due to budget cuts and my last day is the end of THAT SAME WEEK, Friday Dec 27. As a result, I stop what I was working on and even though I would only have a couple of days did whatever I could to come up with an understandable knowledge transfer doc so the work I was doing can be continued after my departure. I was informed by my employer that my first day back at that office was to be Wednesday Jan 8, to be physically present there twice a week (Wed & Thu) due to my status as being "beached" (previously on-site but not currently), and I have been going there twice a week since then waiting for the next client firm to be assigned to.
On Thursday Dec 26 I had finished my antidepressants for the month but unfortunately was not able to make it to the pharmacy to pick up refills that day nor the next. The day afterwards, however, Saturday the 28th, I had been able to make it to the pharmacy early enough, only to find that a charge from the previous day had left me with a nearly empty bank account so I couldn't pick up refills due to the insurance copayments. The next day, Sunday the 29th, during a text conversation with the Russian girl I feel intense anger as well as headaches slowly creeping in too. As I text her this she replied to stop the meds because she's worried about the many changes in my demeanor over the years because of them and assumed correctly that I was starting to feel withdrawal symptoms. I would not have my next psychiatrist appointment then until the week after that, so even though a couple of days later I was able to pick up the refills when I got paid the desire to be DONE with these meds was probably the only thing helping drive me through the initial pains of that particular week of withdrawal. That Saturday I informed my therapist of these events and he was more concerned with me having gone through that alone more than anything else. The Tuesday after, Jan 7, I saw my psychiatrist and told him about it. He seemed more annoyed about me doing it cold turkey and having made that decision unilaterally than anything else, and insisted that even though I refused to resume the primary med, Cymbalta at the time, that I stay on the secondary one, the Wellbutrin XL. I reluctantly agreed even after he acknowledged my statement of not feeling the primary effects of any of those meds and only feeling the side effects. More on this shortly.
On Saturday Dec 14 I went to a clinic to see a doctor about the persistent cough I've had for more than a whole week prior and was diagnosed with bronchitis and prescribed a normal course of antibiotics for it. A referral to a pulmonary specialist was also scheduled for after I was done with the antibiotics since I have asthma and I also had excessive amounts of coughing during that time. After I had finished it the cough remained and felt more than ever like something was stuck in my throat, like a sliver of onion skin or tomato peel from a marinara or a peanut skin or something similar. I went in Saturday Jan 18 to get checked out for that, and while the x-rays they took did not show anything visibly stuck (I would end up coughing up whatever it was a few days later, confirming that something was indeed stuck there) the x-rays decidedly revealed two other issues completely unrelated to the coughing, bronchitis, and asthma. It was revealed that I had (and still have as of 2020-Feb-24) atherosclerosis and a "tortuous aorta" on the thoracic side, and was referred to a cardiologist as a result, as well as an ENT specialist for the coughing. I was supposed to meet someone after that appointment and when I called her to say I was taking longer because of the extra news from this visit I went into a fit of rage after she said she was going home. I would end up seeing her that Monday as a result, but the white hot anger that I felt that day after being given these x-ray findings that apparently have been missed or possibly even kept from me for most if not all of my life had overwhelmed me, and was a level of anger I had not felt in years, only twice before in my life having ever come that close to a complete meltdown.
Since that visit I had seen the cardiologist and scheduled a kidney ultrasound, liver x-rays, blood labs, carotid ultrasound, and a stress test, with the follow-up to all of those tomorrow, Tuesday Feb 25. Those tests were last week, but the Wednesday before last I was sent home early due to odor from excessive sweating being an insurmountable problem that day. I chose to immediately visit a clinic after leaving the office and was given a referral to an endocrinologist. I saw the endocrinologist this past Friday, Feb 21, and somehow the results from my blood labs were available to review during that appointment even though I had the draw only a few days prior on Tuesday; I had anticipated that they wouldn't be ready until today (Monday) so I was pleasantly surprised to have this additional information with me. After a basic physical examination and studying the blood tests he officially diagnosed me with "insulin resistance," essentially the most common precursor to type 2 diabetes and in this case genetically predisposed. According to him, insulin resistance is a significant contributor, if not the direct cause, of a slew of health problems I have had over the course of my life, including the excessive sweating, and is also the most likely culprit of one in particular I only relatively recently began to actively suspect the existence of: my body's inability to properly process certain nutrients and classes of drugs, both prescription and non-prescription, reducing or outright eliminating the efficacy and usefulness of their primary effects and leaving me to suffer through essentially just the side effects.
tl;dr - My time programming at the bank, a little over 8 months, ended the last week of December and I've been at my company's NYC training office since then waiting to have interviews and eventually a new assignment. I went cold turkey on my primary antidepressants after finishing the December bottle and down to just the Wellbutrin for it, the primary results from the withdrawal being the returning of anger and rage once the medication-induced emotional range limiters wore off. I had bronchitis and after treating it still had coughing fits which led me to one more visit to the clinic, where in addition to referrals to specialists for my lungs and throat was also given diagnoses of atherosclerosis and a tortuous thoracic aorta and referred to a cardiologist. During the course of handling the resulting tests scheduled by the cardiologist I had seen an endocrinologist in an effort to reveal any underlying causes of the essentially uncontrollable excessive sweating I have, as I felt my job is now officially on the line because of it, and was diagnosed with insulin resistance and given the most extreme dietary restrictions I've ever had in my life. There are other trials and tribulations of note during these past two months, especially with other people, but that's for another post.
My last post before this was in the first week of December 2019. December turned out to have a very interesting second half. I was informed prior that we didn't technically have the 23rd, 24th, nor the 26th off for holiday, so I went in Christmas week expecting to do my usual work. On Tuesday Dec 24 I received a call from my employer, a contractor of tech consultants, that the firm I was at is laying off contractors due to budget cuts and my last day is the end of THAT SAME WEEK, Friday Dec 27. As a result, I stop what I was working on and even though I would only have a couple of days did whatever I could to come up with an understandable knowledge transfer doc so the work I was doing can be continued after my departure. I was informed by my employer that my first day back at that office was to be Wednesday Jan 8, to be physically present there twice a week (Wed & Thu) due to my status as being "beached" (previously on-site but not currently), and I have been going there twice a week since then waiting for the next client firm to be assigned to.
On Thursday Dec 26 I had finished my antidepressants for the month but unfortunately was not able to make it to the pharmacy to pick up refills that day nor the next. The day afterwards, however, Saturday the 28th, I had been able to make it to the pharmacy early enough, only to find that a charge from the previous day had left me with a nearly empty bank account so I couldn't pick up refills due to the insurance copayments. The next day, Sunday the 29th, during a text conversation with the Russian girl I feel intense anger as well as headaches slowly creeping in too. As I text her this she replied to stop the meds because she's worried about the many changes in my demeanor over the years because of them and assumed correctly that I was starting to feel withdrawal symptoms. I would not have my next psychiatrist appointment then until the week after that, so even though a couple of days later I was able to pick up the refills when I got paid the desire to be DONE with these meds was probably the only thing helping drive me through the initial pains of that particular week of withdrawal. That Saturday I informed my therapist of these events and he was more concerned with me having gone through that alone more than anything else. The Tuesday after, Jan 7, I saw my psychiatrist and told him about it. He seemed more annoyed about me doing it cold turkey and having made that decision unilaterally than anything else, and insisted that even though I refused to resume the primary med, Cymbalta at the time, that I stay on the secondary one, the Wellbutrin XL. I reluctantly agreed even after he acknowledged my statement of not feeling the primary effects of any of those meds and only feeling the side effects. More on this shortly.
On Saturday Dec 14 I went to a clinic to see a doctor about the persistent cough I've had for more than a whole week prior and was diagnosed with bronchitis and prescribed a normal course of antibiotics for it. A referral to a pulmonary specialist was also scheduled for after I was done with the antibiotics since I have asthma and I also had excessive amounts of coughing during that time. After I had finished it the cough remained and felt more than ever like something was stuck in my throat, like a sliver of onion skin or tomato peel from a marinara or a peanut skin or something similar. I went in Saturday Jan 18 to get checked out for that, and while the x-rays they took did not show anything visibly stuck (I would end up coughing up whatever it was a few days later, confirming that something was indeed stuck there) the x-rays decidedly revealed two other issues completely unrelated to the coughing, bronchitis, and asthma. It was revealed that I had (and still have as of 2020-Feb-24) atherosclerosis and a "tortuous aorta" on the thoracic side, and was referred to a cardiologist as a result, as well as an ENT specialist for the coughing. I was supposed to meet someone after that appointment and when I called her to say I was taking longer because of the extra news from this visit I went into a fit of rage after she said she was going home. I would end up seeing her that Monday as a result, but the white hot anger that I felt that day after being given these x-ray findings that apparently have been missed or possibly even kept from me for most if not all of my life had overwhelmed me, and was a level of anger I had not felt in years, only twice before in my life having ever come that close to a complete meltdown.
Since that visit I had seen the cardiologist and scheduled a kidney ultrasound, liver x-rays, blood labs, carotid ultrasound, and a stress test, with the follow-up to all of those tomorrow, Tuesday Feb 25. Those tests were last week, but the Wednesday before last I was sent home early due to odor from excessive sweating being an insurmountable problem that day. I chose to immediately visit a clinic after leaving the office and was given a referral to an endocrinologist. I saw the endocrinologist this past Friday, Feb 21, and somehow the results from my blood labs were available to review during that appointment even though I had the draw only a few days prior on Tuesday; I had anticipated that they wouldn't be ready until today (Monday) so I was pleasantly surprised to have this additional information with me. After a basic physical examination and studying the blood tests he officially diagnosed me with "insulin resistance," essentially the most common precursor to type 2 diabetes and in this case genetically predisposed. According to him, insulin resistance is a significant contributor, if not the direct cause, of a slew of health problems I have had over the course of my life, including the excessive sweating, and is also the most likely culprit of one in particular I only relatively recently began to actively suspect the existence of: my body's inability to properly process certain nutrients and classes of drugs, both prescription and non-prescription, reducing or outright eliminating the efficacy and usefulness of their primary effects and leaving me to suffer through essentially just the side effects.
tl;dr - My time programming at the bank, a little over 8 months, ended the last week of December and I've been at my company's NYC training office since then waiting to have interviews and eventually a new assignment. I went cold turkey on my primary antidepressants after finishing the December bottle and down to just the Wellbutrin for it, the primary results from the withdrawal being the returning of anger and rage once the medication-induced emotional range limiters wore off. I had bronchitis and after treating it still had coughing fits which led me to one more visit to the clinic, where in addition to referrals to specialists for my lungs and throat was also given diagnoses of atherosclerosis and a tortuous thoracic aorta and referred to a cardiologist. During the course of handling the resulting tests scheduled by the cardiologist I had seen an endocrinologist in an effort to reveal any underlying causes of the essentially uncontrollable excessive sweating I have, as I felt my job is now officially on the line because of it, and was diagnosed with insulin resistance and given the most extreme dietary restrictions I've ever had in my life. There are other trials and tribulations of note during these past two months, especially with other people, but that's for another post.
A Better Alex (ISTJ): EPRHA → ASC → AM6 → …
A Sexy Alex (ESTJ-T): BIABWS+DAOS → DMSI → …
A Better Alex (ENFJ-T): AM6 → …
A Sexy Alex (ESTJ-T): BIABWS+DAOS → DMSI → …
A Better Alex (ENFJ-T): AM6 → …
