I was 8 or 9, and it was Christmas time. We were making ends meet, but that meant we had food in our bellies. I'm unsure if the rent was paid, but we'd been taking water from our neighbors to bathe and flush the toilet for many months now. I and my brothers had been searching the allies for wood to burn for heat, as we had a fireplace and no electricity. Several times we'd woke at 11 PM to go search for more firewood since supplies were scarce. We'd been searching the county ditches for soda cans and bottles to turn in for change, and my oldest brother used his sales skills to persuade people to allow him to clean and vacuum their cars at the nearby carwash.
My mom had recently left her 3rd marriage but was working. However, greatly fearing failure, she declined to learn those new things called computers, and she was a bookkeeper, AKA an accountant. She continued keeping all books on paper ledgers but was also demoted in her department. Her salary suffered, and her drinking increased. We'd go shopping at stores for her with paper food stamps, making sure we'd get back as much change as possible so she could purchase cigarettes and alcohol. We were a family, so dissension was not even given thought to by myself.
But something changed on Christmas Eve of that year. My mom had gone down to the local welfare office (I think) requesting a food basket and some help to pay the electricity. She was declined originally, yet she stayed. I know she wept sitting there, as she could turn it on easily, in her normal fashion. I was home during this outing of hers. We'd erected our plastic tree, put up all the ornaments, our stockings, even made a plate of treats for Santa.
About 3 hours later she showed up. She had so many bags of food and presents that ..... I didn't know how to take it except being excited. We had tons of food. We had loads of boy's toys, and we even had a new Christmas tree with all the lights and add-ons. But she saved the best for last. She went and flicked the light switch, and it came on! The water did too.
As best as I know, someone stepped in and gave us a very meaningful, beautiful Christmas. It was just overwhelming.
Why did I share this? It came up while doing laundry today at my normal spot. Something in me has changed lately, as I'm much more aware of my walk and presence around people. I'd seen an old coworker 2 hours earlier at my neighborhood park, and he said he'd recognize my walk anywhere. He's mid 20's, and he called my walk 'arrogant'. I felt slightly different today like I had power and influence, but I wanted to be personal and helpful with people. The old coworker is doing forex trading now, and I began sharing about how I'm doing with bitcoin mining. He even bought some on his phone while we shot hoops. We'll stay in touch over this.
A lot of Hispanic women were doing laundry today, and I saw them like they were mothers to someone. I softened while thinking of this, and my mind began imagining helping some on Christmas. I even had tears come while folding my laundry, and it linked to the story above. I had a similar day once while on DMSI 3.2 over a year ago, since I'd chosen to open my heart to people.
And my thoughts of helping weren't huge either. I imagined allowing people to do their laundry for free during Christmas week. The thought of giving of myself choked me up, for I've received it myself. Little things matter, and sometimes little things are not so little to people. It was unforgettable to me.
My mom had recently left her 3rd marriage but was working. However, greatly fearing failure, she declined to learn those new things called computers, and she was a bookkeeper, AKA an accountant. She continued keeping all books on paper ledgers but was also demoted in her department. Her salary suffered, and her drinking increased. We'd go shopping at stores for her with paper food stamps, making sure we'd get back as much change as possible so she could purchase cigarettes and alcohol. We were a family, so dissension was not even given thought to by myself.
But something changed on Christmas Eve of that year. My mom had gone down to the local welfare office (I think) requesting a food basket and some help to pay the electricity. She was declined originally, yet she stayed. I know she wept sitting there, as she could turn it on easily, in her normal fashion. I was home during this outing of hers. We'd erected our plastic tree, put up all the ornaments, our stockings, even made a plate of treats for Santa.
About 3 hours later she showed up. She had so many bags of food and presents that ..... I didn't know how to take it except being excited. We had tons of food. We had loads of boy's toys, and we even had a new Christmas tree with all the lights and add-ons. But she saved the best for last. She went and flicked the light switch, and it came on! The water did too.
As best as I know, someone stepped in and gave us a very meaningful, beautiful Christmas. It was just overwhelming.
Why did I share this? It came up while doing laundry today at my normal spot. Something in me has changed lately, as I'm much more aware of my walk and presence around people. I'd seen an old coworker 2 hours earlier at my neighborhood park, and he said he'd recognize my walk anywhere. He's mid 20's, and he called my walk 'arrogant'. I felt slightly different today like I had power and influence, but I wanted to be personal and helpful with people. The old coworker is doing forex trading now, and I began sharing about how I'm doing with bitcoin mining. He even bought some on his phone while we shot hoops. We'll stay in touch over this.
A lot of Hispanic women were doing laundry today, and I saw them like they were mothers to someone. I softened while thinking of this, and my mind began imagining helping some on Christmas. I even had tears come while folding my laundry, and it linked to the story above. I had a similar day once while on DMSI 3.2 over a year ago, since I'd chosen to open my heart to people.
And my thoughts of helping weren't huge either. I imagined allowing people to do their laundry for free during Christmas week. The thought of giving of myself choked me up, for I've received it myself. Little things matter, and sometimes little things are not so little to people. It was unforgettable to me.
I want to be FREE!
