A Sexy Alex, stage 2: DMSI Journal (now 3.3.2!)

[apollolux]

Well then.

Seems it's been almost 10 months since I last logged in here. There's too much activity to catch up on at the moment, so I'll do that later. After about 29 months almost straight (took one 30-day break sometime last year) of listening to DMSI I've been taking a break; today is day 60 of that break and I'll decide later today if I'm going to resume listening to DMSI or if I'm going to choose to listen to a different sub.

I feel the need to stress that over the course of listening to DMSI I have not had sex nor have any women I am attracted to actually approach me for any sort of sexual and/or romantic encounter. On top of that, any that have shown any signals and signal clusters, either intentionally or unintentionally, continue to not acknowledge, either consciously or subconsciously, that I am the reason they feel whatever they feel at that moment. As a result, while I do acknowledge that I am indeed emanating some aura and/or vibe being felt by others and myself (I'm always hot now and even in below freezing temps outside I sweat from heat and have my desk fan running on low at work to cool me off), there's something..."out of tune" with it, either in a strength/amplitude aspect, a direction aspect (i.e. people rarely if ever realize and acknowledge that it's coming from me), or some amount of both.

I have gone into listening to DMSI all this time with only one realistic expectation: to noticeably reduce or outright remove from my thoughts and mindset the idea that to noticeably increase my sexual attractiveness the increase and availability of money must play a significant part. Not only has this not happened, but one girl in particular (the Russian blonde I've mentioned quite some time ago) has outright said to me that she would only be interested in me if/when I have money and a good job even though she's shown pretty overt and often blatant signals of attraction to me since the day we first met. For comparison, the guy she's been seeing for almost 5 years was living with his parents when she met him and is supposedly a building superintendent.

I have had a few good things happen in my life these past 10 months, though. Thanks to the FinTech training from my company and my previous development experience I've been working as an application developer for a major bank since April. I'm still looking for a new place to live, but at least I have a guaranteed job until April 2021 and I'll be able to afford living on my own. My doctor finally accepted that the medication he's had me take for the past few years hasn't worked, so he's taken me off of it and prescribed a different one. I've only been using it for a month, but I've noticed an increase in anger and negative emotions as if the limitation of emotional range from the previous meds has been decreased but primarily for negative ones (i.e. the negative range of my emotions has increased). I have an appointment with him in a couple of days so I'll talk with him then about it. On the plus side, since switching off of the previous meds I've finally started losing noticeable weight that was gained during the course of taking those meds, a pretty strong correlation (and I dare say causation) to me between those meds and the weight gain.

It seems that since I was last here 5.75g has been introduced and DMSI has been updated to 3.3.2 as a result. That seems to be tipping the scales in favor of DMSI being the sub I resume listening to if the change log is good indication. I will have to read through journals and the DMSI thread to see what's been reported over this past year and see if the result of that is an increase in power added to DMSI or an amount of power taken away from it to focus more on other aspects of the scripting. I apologize, @Shannon , for not being more diligent in reporting my DMSI experience; I am going to attribute that to effects of the meds I previously took and hope that moving forward after I catch up that I can become better about the reporting aspect of having been an early adopter of DMSI.