11-18-2019, 11:15 AM
When you got rejected, and you started going crazy with self hate etc. did you do that because it gained you something? Yes. What did it gain you? I'd put my money on, "If I trash myself, then I will never try to be accepted, and if I never try to be accepted, I never have to risk being rejected again."
Then if that is the case, you have to wonder... why does it matter to you so much that you got rejected? To which the most likely answer is... "Because she was giving me my sense of self worth. Her approval would make me feel worthwhile and valid and valuable."
And if that is the case, then you could ask yourself, "Why do I need her approval and validation when I can validate and approve of myself?" To which the most likely answer is "Because as a result of Experience X (and possibly Y, Z, etc.) I conclude that I have no value in and of myself, so I need to seek value from others."
Which you could respond to by asking, "Does it make sense that I would conclude that I have no value as a result of those experiences?" to which the answer, of course, is "No." So then you've found yourself a logical fallacy which has led you to make a conclusion that is in error and act like it is true, which effectively makes it true for you as long as you believe it is valid.
To which the solution would be to realize the error, invalidate the belief that you have no value, and start focusing on being the one who values you, and providing yourself with forgiveness, attention, care, love, approval, etc.
We have already been through this. This is the most likely story in my opinion. But you have to play along instead of repeating the same tired mistakes that keep you in the same tired negative cycle.
Then if that is the case, you have to wonder... why does it matter to you so much that you got rejected? To which the most likely answer is... "Because she was giving me my sense of self worth. Her approval would make me feel worthwhile and valid and valuable."
And if that is the case, then you could ask yourself, "Why do I need her approval and validation when I can validate and approve of myself?" To which the most likely answer is "Because as a result of Experience X (and possibly Y, Z, etc.) I conclude that I have no value in and of myself, so I need to seek value from others."
Which you could respond to by asking, "Does it make sense that I would conclude that I have no value as a result of those experiences?" to which the answer, of course, is "No." So then you've found yourself a logical fallacy which has led you to make a conclusion that is in error and act like it is true, which effectively makes it true for you as long as you believe it is valid.
To which the solution would be to realize the error, invalidate the belief that you have no value, and start focusing on being the one who values you, and providing yourself with forgiveness, attention, care, love, approval, etc.
We have already been through this. This is the most likely story in my opinion. But you have to play along instead of repeating the same tired mistakes that keep you in the same tired negative cycle.
Subliminal Audio Specialist & Administrator
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
