11-14-2019, 01:59 AM
I'm feeling the same things as yesterday. Took a shower and realized I've been dependent on other's acceptance since I avoid myself constantly. I just re-read that last line, and tears came up.
Why don't I want to accept myself? What triggers me to do this? Feels like some loss I've never grieved or let go of.
I looked at my romantic life (none presently)--and I realized I expected/wanted my wife to accept me like I didn't do it for myself. I've known that is still active, and it shoots confidence down quickly. I don't want to mar another relationship.
But.....why? Fear rises all around the answers, but so did tears, again. Gotta get to work. This won't leave me (hopefully). My fear is trying to confuse me now.
Why don't I want to accept myself? What triggers me to do this? Feels like some loss I've never grieved or let go of.
I looked at my romantic life (none presently)--and I realized I expected/wanted my wife to accept me like I didn't do it for myself. I've known that is still active, and it shoots confidence down quickly. I don't want to mar another relationship.
But.....why? Fear rises all around the answers, but so did tears, again. Gotta get to work. This won't leave me (hopefully). My fear is trying to confuse me now.
I want to be FREE!
