Magnus' journal

[Magnus]

So had something interesting happen today. I was having a massage to treat myself and I felt this hole being fulled in me that had been there for so long and it stayed fulled for a few hours after. While AM has made a lot of positive changes in my life a lot of them have been on a practical level as well as some mindset change. Now I know that if I was able to full this hole inside myself by myself that I could achieve a lot and feel like its a vital missing piece at the moment. I think this hole might be love specifically not feeling loved. While having a massage I was relaxed and felt loved through someone else's touch. I know for me I missed a lot of this in childhood and feel like this has been something I've struggled to get my whole life with nothing quite being able to full it for more than a short period of time. Its only now that I have really realized what it was that was missing.

Anyone got any suggestions on subs or anything else that might help this as I know if I could feel like this the whole time the gap between where I am and where I want to be would close very quickly and I can't afford to get massages everyday lol.