Stage 1, Day 25:
Yesterday evening, I went shopping to Walmart with my family... It is funny how knowing that I wasn't in a position to flirt with other women made me more relaxed and this has attracted many flirting smiles... Even a woman that did initiate small talk conversation with me.
I did see a really hot woman... She had a tattoo on the back of her neck. She could have been a stripper. Just the way she was walking was emanating a sexual energy. I felt compelled to talk to her... and I felt like I would have known exactly how to do it... but I also think that I felt that way because I was feeling safe knowing that I wouldn't do it.
If I put that in contrast with this afternoon, where I went alone at the grocery and in the fruit and vegetable, I did spotted a hot blonde wearing some very molding black yoga pants with a very tight yellow t-short allowing you to see the shape of her medium sized breast. I knew that the right thing to do would have been to approach her... but I felt some anxiety and I did find some BS reason for not doing it. I did convince myself that she was too tall.... Yes she was much taller than my taste in terms of height but it doesn't remove the possibility that approaching her could have been very fun thing to do whether or not something would have happen out of that.
To my defense, since yesterday my gf did pour on me her PMS bad mood. I did stand for myself and put her back at her place when deserved but my day started again with some unnecessary drama and this has somehow taxed a little bit my mood for the rest of the day... I was perhaps not in the best carefree mental space when I made that encounter...
That being said, shortly after, I did visualize myself how I should have felt suave, smooth and seductive with the right mind state and go approach her... This did calm me... Too late to actually do it for real with the girl that I saw... but this is some sort of mental rehearsal and a goal to what I want and should become... It was crystal clear and I felt it and it was a very appealing scenario and the first time that I feel and see that...
I take that as a positive sign that some change is about to come... Sometimes, I get things to do and on the surface, it seems like I procrastinate but underneath some part of me is working on a solution and when I actually sit down and do it, it happens blazingly fast as if I always knew how to do...
I feel that with my challenge approaching random strangers that I am attracted to in places that I'm not used to do it falls exactly in that category of experiences. I will manage the situation like a pimp in few days without knowing where that comes from exactly...
Yesterday evening, I went shopping to Walmart with my family... It is funny how knowing that I wasn't in a position to flirt with other women made me more relaxed and this has attracted many flirting smiles... Even a woman that did initiate small talk conversation with me.
I did see a really hot woman... She had a tattoo on the back of her neck. She could have been a stripper. Just the way she was walking was emanating a sexual energy. I felt compelled to talk to her... and I felt like I would have known exactly how to do it... but I also think that I felt that way because I was feeling safe knowing that I wouldn't do it.
If I put that in contrast with this afternoon, where I went alone at the grocery and in the fruit and vegetable, I did spotted a hot blonde wearing some very molding black yoga pants with a very tight yellow t-short allowing you to see the shape of her medium sized breast. I knew that the right thing to do would have been to approach her... but I felt some anxiety and I did find some BS reason for not doing it. I did convince myself that she was too tall.... Yes she was much taller than my taste in terms of height but it doesn't remove the possibility that approaching her could have been very fun thing to do whether or not something would have happen out of that.
To my defense, since yesterday my gf did pour on me her PMS bad mood. I did stand for myself and put her back at her place when deserved but my day started again with some unnecessary drama and this has somehow taxed a little bit my mood for the rest of the day... I was perhaps not in the best carefree mental space when I made that encounter...
That being said, shortly after, I did visualize myself how I should have felt suave, smooth and seductive with the right mind state and go approach her... This did calm me... Too late to actually do it for real with the girl that I saw... but this is some sort of mental rehearsal and a goal to what I want and should become... It was crystal clear and I felt it and it was a very appealing scenario and the first time that I feel and see that...
I take that as a positive sign that some change is about to come... Sometimes, I get things to do and on the surface, it seems like I procrastinate but underneath some part of me is working on a solution and when I actually sit down and do it, it happens blazingly fast as if I always knew how to do...
I feel that with my challenge approaching random strangers that I am attracted to in places that I'm not used to do it falls exactly in that category of experiences. I will manage the situation like a pimp in few days without knowing where that comes from exactly...
