Transcendent Sith Lord's LTU 5.0 Journal

[DarthXedonias]

And the changes continue.

It would seem after this identity level shift that I'm growing more bold and aggressive in my thinking. Its like I have no problems telling people my mind. I'm also noticing people wanting to talk with me more and in return I find conversing more entertaining. I think I find the idea of travel and seeing news things more appealing to me now than sitting at home just playing some time wasting video games. Oh believe me, I still play video games but it seems to be regulated to when I really, really don't have anything else productive I could be doing. For example, right now there is not much else for me to do but wait for my documents to be ready which a third party is taking care of now. So I literally have nothing else I could be doing at the moment.

I am finding more and more of what Shannon has said in the past is finally making sense to me as well besides the whole transcendent alpha type stuff. For example, I remember when we all used to get on him for making it sound so easy to change with just making a single choice. Now, in hindsight I realize he was right. It was me who kept myself where I was before and it was an easy choice when I look back on it to change my whole mindset. The only thing that kept it difficult in "my mind" was all the fears surrounding that choice. The fears and other stuff in my head had been magnified in my mind so much that they seemed insurmountable when they really weren't. It really was these fears that weren't all that powerful keeping me back.

In the end after I made the choice, did the world explode? Did i face some horrible fate? Did I die? None of these things happened. matter of fact life actually got a lot better, easier, and I am more free after leaving those things behind. In the end the fear was all bullshit and mirrors. To use an example Shannon has used in the past, fear causes the shadow of an ant to look like a monster (or something similar to that). Either way, now that this is over with I can feel myself grow stronger and more powerful each day. I don't feel chained like I used to be.

As a side note, within the next day or 2 I should be letting the Indonesian chick go. I will be sending her an message and then afterwards I will be blocking her on all my media (only have her on 2). As I've been growing more and more over the past few days I have grown more sure in this decision. She is still a very good women but I can't get over the lost of connection and aversion to her not only letting herself finding her value externally from herself but I have noticed her wanting the same for me which I don't roll like that anymore. I've found my freedom and I won't be giving that up to anyone or anything. I know she will be crushed for quite a while but its for the best. I realize more than ever now that the only types of relationship for me is LTRs or marriage types where the significant other gives me plenty of space and allows me to engage with them on my own terms. I guess in order to full have that I will have to run UMS eventually.

I guess I am one of those guys that wants a women who as long as I'm taking care of her needs she just lets me do whatever I want when I want. I guess I have no time for this whole "I need your emotional support all the time", "We need to spend more time together", or "make more time for me". Eh, I will take care of your needs especially if you just want stay at home and take care of the house (of which obviously I get my needs taken care of as well) but I'm not going to baby sit you or act like one of your girlfriends. I have no time for women like that. I have a feeling this is even more of that extreme independence streak in me taking control. Right now I just want to live my life on my terms with the least amount of external interference as possible.

With that in mind I've been thinking more about my investment plans once UMS comes out. If it works as intended I plan on trying to full invest most of my time in investing and becoming financially independent within a year. That is how strong this independence streak in my right now is. I also have no doubt in my mind that if especially my suggestion makes it in the sub that that will be fully possible. If that does happen I do seem myself using the money to do business in China or the Philippines. I do want to diverse myself as much as possible. Eh, depending on how that goes we will see if I even want to run BAMM 6G later on. I might be wealthy enough at that point.

Anyway, that is all for now. You all have a good day!