05-25-2019, 07:16 AM
Day 55:
Just woke up. Faced my feelings about the friendship breakup head on. I'm hurt. Badly hurt. To be rejected and turned away so badly. It hurts so much. I'm in tears. But I MUST love myself. I MUST forgive myself. I MUST be the best version of myself I can possibly be. I MUST change the way I see myself to one that's more loving and be the friend to myself she once was and stopped being. The friend I NEED. I've got to be that friend to myself, because that's who I most NEED to be that for me. I'm crying as I write this. Maybe E2 IS working. Or maybe I'm just now starting to find my courage and learning and accepting what I have to do. I dunno. It feels like such a simple, yet so difficult, yet so easy task: Just forgive myself and love myself and be the best self I can be and don't judge myself for where I'm at or my perceived shortcomings. Yet, it feels so hard to do that. But it's what I MUST do. I've GOT to turn my self image around.
Just woke up. Faced my feelings about the friendship breakup head on. I'm hurt. Badly hurt. To be rejected and turned away so badly. It hurts so much. I'm in tears. But I MUST love myself. I MUST forgive myself. I MUST be the best version of myself I can possibly be. I MUST change the way I see myself to one that's more loving and be the friend to myself she once was and stopped being. The friend I NEED. I've got to be that friend to myself, because that's who I most NEED to be that for me. I'm crying as I write this. Maybe E2 IS working. Or maybe I'm just now starting to find my courage and learning and accepting what I have to do. I dunno. It feels like such a simple, yet so difficult, yet so easy task: Just forgive myself and love myself and be the best self I can be and don't judge myself for where I'm at or my perceived shortcomings. Yet, it feels so hard to do that. But it's what I MUST do. I've GOT to turn my self image around.
