E2 Journal

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Well, I don't just wanna work any job if I can help it. With the help of Vocational Rehabilitation Services, CARD, and my employment specialist, I might just be able to get a job I LIKE. We're going over possibilities with each weekly meeting until we have a goal planned out. So we'll see where this leads to.

Just satin that sometimes it’s good to just have a occupation and do something useful of yourself during the days. Couldn’t hurt. And it looks good on your resume to show some ambition, what type isn’t always the important part.

I see what you're saying, but I'm getting a lot of help here and it would be a waste of opportunity not to use it. Getting a job is good, but getting one I like is even better. With all the help I'm getting, I might at least get work I partially like. We'll see how this all unfolds, but I'm hoping to find work that'll fit my needs. If I've got a shot at getting work like that, why waste it out of desperation? Another thing I'm looking into is freelance writing on the net. I'm trying to learn more about it, but I'm good at writing and it sounds like I can get a lot of freedom and make decent money freelance writing if I play my cards right. My employment specialist is also helping me look into that. Then I'd just need a part time job that would help me make friends.

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Day 52:

EDIT:

Been spending my time suppressing negative thoughts and distracting myself. Best I feel I can do until I at least get E3.

I actually think you would benefit just to be around other people and do some work. You are setting up expectations, and expectations are always useless. You most of the time don't really know what you want until you have it. Our capacity to see in our minds what our life should be is very limited, a better compass is your own feelings. And you don't know how something feels until you are there, right? To be around people challenges us to develop and be part of something bigger than ourselves. We are challenged socially and it can likewise be rewarding.

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Well I figure any job I get will likely put me around people. I know how my last job felt and I don't want a job that feels like that. These people are helping me out. Maybe the job I get won't be what I expected, but at least I'll have moved in the direction I wanted. And if I don't like the job I do pick, I could talk to voc rehab about getting a different one. But I'll take the advantage of the help I'm getting and see if I can at least move in a direction I like.