05-11-2019, 11:42 PM
(05-11-2019, 10:17 PM)Zane Wrote: Ahh.. The healing games I went thru. The shit I had to deal with...
No matter what you feel or think just keep moving forward. That's how you gain experience get stronger and reach enlightenment.
If you have a goal in your mind to fix yourself them don't let it stop you.
The journey seems tough but with time will get easier. Create the reality you want to.. It will take sometime but in the end lock yourself into that reality and then do whatever you want to cause that will be your own world.
But before that you must fix yourself and focus on yourself only.. When you see other succeed you should see yourself there too one day..
Whatever you are gonna be in future I promise you that you will be very happy with it..
Most of the time we want something else but chase something else.. On unconscious level..
I see others succeed without having to struggle for what they got like I have and I hate them for the winning hands they've been dealt in life. I feel like Cain, and I hate Abel so. Fucking. Much. I hope you're right, Zane. I hope I can be Abel one day, but it feels like I'm destined to live my life as Cain. I HATE my life so fucking much. I hate my ex-friend. I hate myself. I'm just full of hate right now, because I've gone through so much and I feel like I can't turn my losses into victories. It looks like WM gets you a bit of sex with a few mildly attractive women and SM might get you one or two women but that's it. And DMSI looks like it does nalnutta damn thing. It's supposed to be this great sub that makes women throw themselves at you for sex, but so far, nobody seems to be reporting that. And it seems a lot of people aren't getting results from AYP subs either.
You ever been in love and been rejected? You ever had your best friend friend-dump you? You ever have your family call you a loser or tell you your time isn't worth anything? I hate my life.
It's like all the worst things to ever happen to me, I can't change anything about them. I fell in love with an unbelievably attractive woman and she didn't think I was good enough for her. I got friend dumped and will never be forgiven. My family situation is shit and I feel like my family only ever made my issues worse and cause those rejections I've faced. I grew up as a kid with no friends who the boys beat up and the girls wanted nothing to do with.
I want to change. I want to be REBORN like a phoenix. I want to be the guy young, beautiful women fight over and worry about not being able to get. I want to be the guy that perfect 10's (not just in looks, but other ways as well) fall in love with. I wanna be the guy that when he falls in love, has his love requited. I want to be beautiful on the inside and out, and be seen that way by people who are beautiful on the inside and out. I want to be good enough. I want to be desirable. I want to be loved. I want to be recognized as worthy. I want to WIN.
And it's looking like I've been pinning my hopes on these subs to help get me there and they don't work as advertised. At least not the ones that are supposed to change external circumstances.
I dunno. Maybe I'm just going through a rough period right now, but all the self healing? I don't think it's occurring. I don't feel like I've healed one bit. I don't feel like I CAN heal. I feel stuck. Hopelessly stuck. I feel like Sisyphus pushing his rock up a hill. I really hope I can change my reality, but everything seems so futile and I'm supposed to just accept the futility. and what's worse is I feel like I have to struggle so hard for a ray of hope that's getting dimmer and dimmer.
