05-11-2019, 09:24 AM
Day 42:
So I had this epiphany while I was stoned and practicing creative visualization in bed this morning. I started to realize the same thing Mat did in his LTU5 journal: That my issues are the result of faulty programming and the painful experiences that I obsess over and feel so victimized about... those were the result of faulty programming too. And if I can just change my focus and change my mentality, I can change my situation and experience exactly what I want to experience. Mat's and Shannon's words in past posts are finally starting to hit me.
As a side note:
No sooner do I start writing this than does my dad yell "You blew it!" and informed me that there was a note by my mom saying to get on her computer (everything was up) and snatch up 2 tickets for an event that sells out quickly. And that it was too late. No tickets were left. I was spending my time high, practicing creative visualization because I'm so determined to learn how to properly do this "becoming" thing. I kept falling asleep though while I was trying. I need to switch up how I try it. I feel like such a piece of shit for letting mom down ont he ticket thing. And what's worse is it just looks like I was too busy sleeping, which isn't too far off from the truth.
So I had this epiphany while I was stoned and practicing creative visualization in bed this morning. I started to realize the same thing Mat did in his LTU5 journal: That my issues are the result of faulty programming and the painful experiences that I obsess over and feel so victimized about... those were the result of faulty programming too. And if I can just change my focus and change my mentality, I can change my situation and experience exactly what I want to experience. Mat's and Shannon's words in past posts are finally starting to hit me.
As a side note:
No sooner do I start writing this than does my dad yell "You blew it!" and informed me that there was a note by my mom saying to get on her computer (everything was up) and snatch up 2 tickets for an event that sells out quickly. And that it was too late. No tickets were left. I was spending my time high, practicing creative visualization because I'm so determined to learn how to properly do this "becoming" thing. I kept falling asleep though while I was trying. I need to switch up how I try it. I feel like such a piece of shit for letting mom down ont he ticket thing. And what's worse is it just looks like I was too busy sleeping, which isn't too far off from the truth.
