05-08-2019, 12:53 PM
You're not alone in your actions EP. I've done the same things myself, especially when I'm changing so quickly in a major area in my life. I'm in new ground, part of me is scared it'll be yanked away or it was another fantasy, and as I'm realizing now that dang........ I'm still trying to hang on to my normal, whatever it is. I'm seeing I've been trying to control others, I've been thoroughly unsuccessful at it, and just writing about it allows some feelings to flow.
I'm thinking of Shannon's words in Mat's journal since he explained it clearly. Parts are free, yet some parts are still hanging on to old "truths", like "my fear protects me", like "I will fail since it's easier and I'll surely know the outcome", like "I don't know how to handle success". (those are all my own old "truths")
I'm on my 2nd day off of LTU, and today I realized major desired changes are growing in me. Major mental roadblocks seemed to slither away, like a scared snake retreating. I've given them so much power. And at the same time, part of me is looking around for my "normal", which are old beliefs, feelings, and attitudes. That part of me is unsure, but also feels more empowered without those same beliefs, feelings, and attitudes.
What changes, big or small, are you experiencing today with E2?
I'm thinking of Shannon's words in Mat's journal since he explained it clearly. Parts are free, yet some parts are still hanging on to old "truths", like "my fear protects me", like "I will fail since it's easier and I'll surely know the outcome", like "I don't know how to handle success". (those are all my own old "truths")
I'm on my 2nd day off of LTU, and today I realized major desired changes are growing in me. Major mental roadblocks seemed to slither away, like a scared snake retreating. I've given them so much power. And at the same time, part of me is looking around for my "normal", which are old beliefs, feelings, and attitudes. That part of me is unsure, but also feels more empowered without those same beliefs, feelings, and attitudes.
What changes, big or small, are you experiencing today with E2?
I want to be FREE!
