Some Kind of Journal - Random Thoughts

[Shannon]

I think the reaction was more then simple resistance, I think it is also based in being really tired and exhausted, because since I started I couldn't sleep properly, woke up already about 4 or 5 am and couldn't sleep anymore while I usually need at least 8 hours sleep to feel somehow rested, even without sub, and like I said I feel trapped in this state where it is almost impossible to really relax. This drains my energy and don't let me regenerate. Now, after seven days off it starts to get better again. I just feel tired all the time and have a hard time even to focus on little things becaus my brain feels burned out, without energy.

You say this sub in not too much? I say it is, because since DMSI 3.1 there was no sub I remember I could run for the adviced number of loops, it was too much. The only which came close was USLM 1A. With the other subs I could adjust the number of loops to my needs ans still get something out of it. For example I slept good with USLM3 and had also similar good synchronicities with a low loop numbers. But with USLM4 it is just too much. And you say I can get used to it but how can I do it if I cannot even finish a single loop after 7 days off? With this and the sleep disturbence it seems unreasonable to use the sub. The new subs seems to want too much too fast for me. Both ME and FRM would need to adjust itself to the current ablility of the user to process the information correctly and not to scare them off. And if the trapped is caused by state shifting and not by fear (which I can't know) then it would still need to allow user to change the state if needed and not hold the user trapped in the state all the time. I hope it makes sense at all what I wrote because I am tired at the moment but I wanted to write a response.

Oh, and I was using masked trickling stream, low to moderate volume. Hybrid caused in the past more resistance and US has stonewalling tenedencies.

Both the Magnus Engine and Fear Removal Module are SOPS (Self Optimizing Polymorphic Scripting).  They do adjust to you.  But the key here is, they don't back down just because something isn't fun.  You have something somewhere in there that scares the hell out of you, and this program is trying to get you past that hurdle.  The responses you describe are all based on fear and/or resistance.  The fact is, you have to run the program enough to get the benefit of the "make it as easy as possible" program in FRM.  Run too little, and it can't make it as easy as possible.  

You say you stonewalled ultrasonic, hybrid caused even more resistance, and masked causes these results.  What this tells me is that whatever the issue is, is from when you were very young.  It is something that you have based a LOT of your self and your beliefs on.  Changing it represents a very big deal for you, but if you are reacting this way, you will never achieve the true potential you have for being successful unless you do overcome that fear.

The feeling trapped in state is not going to be something that the program does, because the state shifting the program generates is always aimed at helping the program achieve it's goals.  How is it achieving it's goals if you can't sleep?  That strongly suggests subconscious self sabotage as an escape mechanism.

Out of the things you have described, I suggest to you that the ultrasonic format is the best one for you.  How have you tried to use that one?  How long, how many loops, etc.