04-29-2019, 12:12 AM
No, but only since I feel I'd have to sneak it in without her knowledge, which is usually unadvised. For myself, I'm seeing I'm still believing I'm powerless over her in many ways, and doing this would basically challenge my own beliefs. I had considered this with E2--mostly since these deeper beliefs of mine weren't dug up. E2 is much gentler.
I'd downloaded E1 onto her cell phone when I was on E2, showed her how to use it, yet I did not do anything or say anything after this. I remember thinking and feeling an old thought which discouraged me: "I'm going to change Mom". Considering I felt like I failed so many times before, that was why I didn't follow up.
I'd checked out small boomboxes to play it on. I never purchased one, and this would be required mostly for "set it and forget it" setup.
Thankfully, I'd remembered some sober instructions I'd heard many times in AlAnon, the group for families of alcoholics. The basic premise is to detach from being responsible for her choices. Following this has given me much more peace than anything else. I needed to be comfortable in my own skin, and me intervening was a hidden controlling maneuver. This controlling mentality is......what makes the relatives of alcoholics the sicker ones. It's why they (and I) can be so desperate.
I'd downloaded E1 onto her cell phone when I was on E2, showed her how to use it, yet I did not do anything or say anything after this. I remember thinking and feeling an old thought which discouraged me: "I'm going to change Mom". Considering I felt like I failed so many times before, that was why I didn't follow up.
I'd checked out small boomboxes to play it on. I never purchased one, and this would be required mostly for "set it and forget it" setup.
Thankfully, I'd remembered some sober instructions I'd heard many times in AlAnon, the group for families of alcoholics. The basic premise is to detach from being responsible for her choices. Following this has given me much more peace than anything else. I needed to be comfortable in my own skin, and me intervening was a hidden controlling maneuver. This controlling mentality is......what makes the relatives of alcoholics the sicker ones. It's why they (and I) can be so desperate.
I want to be FREE!
