E2 Journal

[findingme]

I feel antsy, like there's something I feel I SHOULD be doing with my time, but I can't figure out what. So I don't know what to do.

Starting tonight, I'm going to work Healing Codes (www.dralexanderloyd.com) into my daily routine.

Still can't figure out what to do with the rest of my time though. There's always guitar, I guess...

I have never met anyone else who's done the healing codes. Just before my wife and I separated in 2011, I bought the book and had just played with them. Living by myself after our separation, I took this on heavily. I began doing it for hours each day: before work, during lunch while walking, and after work.

I had one major breakthrough one day, maybe 3 weeks later. I relived a scene when I was maybe 2 years old, standing in my crib, and my mom came in. I cried out to her, but she looked like she'd just been abandoned herself. She turned around, leaving me with the belief she'd abandon me at will. However, even seeing this in my mind, I did not feel traumatized. The HC worked powerfully that day. It's a cumulative process, meaning the more you do them, the clearer results will be. I felt more powerful than this memory now; it didn't own me anymore.

And I didn't keep doing the HC after that. I was scared of not being able to handle major changes in me; I think that's why.

The HC definitely DO work!