04-27-2019, 05:13 PM
(This post was last modified: 04-27-2019, 05:27 PM by EvolvingPhoenix.)
Day 29: I'm feeling a lot better today than I was yesterday. I didn't feel as addicted to my computer today as I did yesterday, but I didn't know what to do with myself other than go meditation walking and clean my room. I should've played my guitar or gone to the gym. Oh well, there's always tomorrow.
But I don't feel as lonely today. And I don't feel like I need to have a specific type of friend or group of friends. I can just accept the friends I have or get as they come and enjoy my time with them. And I don't feel so bad about the friendship breakup, and I feel like I can have the life I want, if I just use the "becoming" technique.
I've also decided that instead of focusing on Babymetal, I'm going to focus the "becoming" technique on getting an apartment. Question is, do I want roommates or my own apartment? Then I gotta go "apartment hunting" and figure out which apartment I want to imagine myself in. Or maybe use it to get a hot girlfriend? I'm not sure what to focus it on! But I need to come up with something and stick with it, so I don't sabotage myself.
I wonder what's so different about today that I'm less lonely than usual? Maybe it's because I'm starting to have hope that I can build the social circle I want, so now I'm accepting the social circle I already have more? I dunno.
Maybe today's just a good day for me?
At any rate, on a scale from 1-10, 1 being ready to commit suicide and 10 being absolute bliss, I'm feeling like I'm at a 6 today, so that's a pretty good day for me!
But I don't feel as lonely today. And I don't feel like I need to have a specific type of friend or group of friends. I can just accept the friends I have or get as they come and enjoy my time with them. And I don't feel so bad about the friendship breakup, and I feel like I can have the life I want, if I just use the "becoming" technique.
I've also decided that instead of focusing on Babymetal, I'm going to focus the "becoming" technique on getting an apartment. Question is, do I want roommates or my own apartment? Then I gotta go "apartment hunting" and figure out which apartment I want to imagine myself in. Or maybe use it to get a hot girlfriend? I'm not sure what to focus it on! But I need to come up with something and stick with it, so I don't sabotage myself.
I wonder what's so different about today that I'm less lonely than usual? Maybe it's because I'm starting to have hope that I can build the social circle I want, so now I'm accepting the social circle I already have more? I dunno.
Maybe today's just a good day for me?
At any rate, on a scale from 1-10, 1 being ready to commit suicide and 10 being absolute bliss, I'm feeling like I'm at a 6 today, so that's a pretty good day for me!
