04-26-2019, 06:53 PM
Day 28:
Nothing new to report. Same old feelings, same old issues.
I will note however that compared to 8 days ago, I seem to be doing better. I look at day 20, and the suicidal aspects to it are much more intense than anything I've been feeling lately, although there was a twinge of suicidal urge yesterday. Still, I think I'm much better off lately than 8 days ago, so I guess I'm making progress. On the other hand, everything changed about the time Shannon told me there was a way to get my friend back, with this "becoming" technique of his. So that might be part of it. It's hard to tell how much my progress (if I've actually made any at all) is due to E2. With my hopes to one day get my friend back firmly re-established, my mood has stabilized better and begun to go up, so it might all just be that, plus I'm not obsessing over the friendship breakup. I think about it from time to time, but I don't let the guilt, shame and regret consume me like I once did.
Nothing new to report. Same old feelings, same old issues.
I will note however that compared to 8 days ago, I seem to be doing better. I look at day 20, and the suicidal aspects to it are much more intense than anything I've been feeling lately, although there was a twinge of suicidal urge yesterday. Still, I think I'm much better off lately than 8 days ago, so I guess I'm making progress. On the other hand, everything changed about the time Shannon told me there was a way to get my friend back, with this "becoming" technique of his. So that might be part of it. It's hard to tell how much my progress (if I've actually made any at all) is due to E2. With my hopes to one day get my friend back firmly re-established, my mood has stabilized better and begun to go up, so it might all just be that, plus I'm not obsessing over the friendship breakup. I think about it from time to time, but I don't let the guilt, shame and regret consume me like I once did.
