04-25-2019, 08:57 PM
And whatever solutions I DO have, I have to wait for: Waiting for Learning Academies to line me up with work, waiting to be able to afford LTU5 so I can set my goals to make friends, waiting to be able to afford a QHHT session with a particular woman who will make me wait a year or two before she's available to actually PERFORM the QHHT session. It feels like I'm just WAITING to put my broken life together in the ways that matter most. And as I think about how fucked my life is, and how sick I am of living this way, suicidal urges start to return, just because I want to get away from this personal hell I'm living in. I look at Maslow's hierarchy of needs pyramid, and it's the social/love part where I'm sorely lacking. I wonder what the metaphysical purpose is of this suffering? How do I move past it?
