04-09-2019, 05:48 PM
(This post was last modified: 04-09-2019, 05:49 PM by EvolvingPhoenix.)
Day 12:
Feeling isolated, lonely and like I don't belong.Like nobody gets me and like I'm worthless. I feel like I'm gonna crack, like my sense of hope is razor thin. Like I can't have the life I want. Like I'll never have the life I want. Like there's nothing I can do for myself or anybody else. Like I have no purpose, or like I can't fulfill my purpose if I have one. Or like if I have a purpose it's not a very important or fulfilling one. Like my life is empty. Like all I do is fail at all the things that matter most to me. Like I can't change my life into what I want. Like even if I did make my life look more like I wanted it to, I'd still be hollow and something important would still be missing from my life. Something critical. I feel like I'll never be good enough. Like nothing I ever do will be good enough. Like I don't have the power to change anything or improve the world around me in any meaningful way. Like I'm nobody and that's all I'll ever be. Like I'll always be lonely. Like any remote progress I make is minuscule and like I make it at a snail's pace. I feel like I can't muster the enthusiasm to do anything and like nothing I do matters anyway. Like every time I do something to improve my life, it's pointless and meaningless. I feel like shit. I feel like screaming. I feel like E2's not doing anything, or if it is doing anything, I'm too fucked up for it to do enough to make a significant difference. I wonder if my subconscious is resisting any real progress. I dunno. I'm not feeling better, that's for sure. I feel like every day is a struggle. I feel like Sisyphus pushing his boulder up the hill. I feel like my family and friends can't understand what I'm going through. I feel like my hope is running out. I feel like all I do is make things worse. I feel like there's no winning. Not for me anyway.
Feeling isolated, lonely and like I don't belong.Like nobody gets me and like I'm worthless. I feel like I'm gonna crack, like my sense of hope is razor thin. Like I can't have the life I want. Like I'll never have the life I want. Like there's nothing I can do for myself or anybody else. Like I have no purpose, or like I can't fulfill my purpose if I have one. Or like if I have a purpose it's not a very important or fulfilling one. Like my life is empty. Like all I do is fail at all the things that matter most to me. Like I can't change my life into what I want. Like even if I did make my life look more like I wanted it to, I'd still be hollow and something important would still be missing from my life. Something critical. I feel like I'll never be good enough. Like nothing I ever do will be good enough. Like I don't have the power to change anything or improve the world around me in any meaningful way. Like I'm nobody and that's all I'll ever be. Like I'll always be lonely. Like any remote progress I make is minuscule and like I make it at a snail's pace. I feel like I can't muster the enthusiasm to do anything and like nothing I do matters anyway. Like every time I do something to improve my life, it's pointless and meaningless. I feel like shit. I feel like screaming. I feel like E2's not doing anything, or if it is doing anything, I'm too fucked up for it to do enough to make a significant difference. I wonder if my subconscious is resisting any real progress. I dunno. I'm not feeling better, that's for sure. I feel like every day is a struggle. I feel like Sisyphus pushing his boulder up the hill. I feel like my family and friends can't understand what I'm going through. I feel like my hope is running out. I feel like all I do is make things worse. I feel like there's no winning. Not for me anyway.
