Some progress. It's deeper than what appears, and this is good.
I invested a small amount with another new trader 2 weeks back. A good return was promised, though I knew it could go either direction. My commitment to myself was that if I was paid, I'd reinvest. Well, numerous "delays" have come up. At least 3. Then he told me last night he had "good news", telling me he'd reinvested my profits for a higher return. I didn't reply, taking time to plan my reply. I've worked with other bad traders before, seeing similar games, and I knew I could simply blast a "******&&&(()*&&^^^^^^" comment back and close the door. I've done it before, never feeling fully at rest.
I replied early this morning, saying he was a liar, and I'd not play his game anymore. I'd paid for a simple return, he'd not given it, and he was still seeking more money to have me withdraw my money (yeah, he'd thrown that at me too). He even said he hated it when he was called a liar. I said I don't call people liars when they do what they said they'd do.
He's still going in circles. I don't f******* care. I've made a stand, and I'm parked there. No more output from me until he pays.
Why'd I share this? This runs deeper since I always thought aggression equaled abuse. Meaning "If I'm mad, I'll likely hurt you, for all anger equals harm to others".
I am listening to some emotional music (purposefully), for I am keeping my focus. But making my stand does not equal abuse. And me being abused is not allowed either. This is new.
This is deep for me. And moving too. It means I can make stands now without fearing....myself. This is a first.
Edit: I did call him more than a liar. I dropped f bombs left and right. I was, and am, pretty rational in all this (vs. afraid of my own anger)
I invested a small amount with another new trader 2 weeks back. A good return was promised, though I knew it could go either direction. My commitment to myself was that if I was paid, I'd reinvest. Well, numerous "delays" have come up. At least 3. Then he told me last night he had "good news", telling me he'd reinvested my profits for a higher return. I didn't reply, taking time to plan my reply. I've worked with other bad traders before, seeing similar games, and I knew I could simply blast a "******&&&(()*&&^^^^^^" comment back and close the door. I've done it before, never feeling fully at rest.
I replied early this morning, saying he was a liar, and I'd not play his game anymore. I'd paid for a simple return, he'd not given it, and he was still seeking more money to have me withdraw my money (yeah, he'd thrown that at me too). He even said he hated it when he was called a liar. I said I don't call people liars when they do what they said they'd do.
He's still going in circles. I don't f******* care. I've made a stand, and I'm parked there. No more output from me until he pays.
Why'd I share this? This runs deeper since I always thought aggression equaled abuse. Meaning "If I'm mad, I'll likely hurt you, for all anger equals harm to others".
I am listening to some emotional music (purposefully), for I am keeping my focus. But making my stand does not equal abuse. And me being abused is not allowed either. This is new.
This is deep for me. And moving too. It means I can make stands now without fearing....myself. This is a first.
Edit: I did call him more than a liar. I dropped f bombs left and right. I was, and am, pretty rational in all this (vs. afraid of my own anger)
I want to be FREE!
