I imagined Shannon saying "WHY are you afraid of being responsible? Keep digging"
I was the youngest of 3 boys, raised without a father, by an alcoholic mom. A codependent momma who taught us all she had.
I miss being "taken care of" by my brothers. I miss my brothers, or at least what I knew of them then. Life was not a challenge for me, except around Mom. I turned to my brothers for everything, and my mom for nothing. I miss being accepted as I was, which was playful, scared of being wrong/bad, and vulnerable. I did fear growing up since I see, in my head, one brother being hard on himself for goofing off, and he was punishing himself, showing a lot of anger at himself. I thought "I don't want to do THAT", but have never been taught how one takes on responsibility. I remember shaming myself when I got married, thinking one had to utterly hate themselves to grow up. Adulthood seems (seemed) like a miserable place to be. WhyTF would I want to do that?!!
That's as honest as I can be right now. I feel young now too.
I was the youngest of 3 boys, raised without a father, by an alcoholic mom. A codependent momma who taught us all she had.
I miss being "taken care of" by my brothers. I miss my brothers, or at least what I knew of them then. Life was not a challenge for me, except around Mom. I turned to my brothers for everything, and my mom for nothing. I miss being accepted as I was, which was playful, scared of being wrong/bad, and vulnerable. I did fear growing up since I see, in my head, one brother being hard on himself for goofing off, and he was punishing himself, showing a lot of anger at himself. I thought "I don't want to do THAT", but have never been taught how one takes on responsibility. I remember shaming myself when I got married, thinking one had to utterly hate themselves to grow up. Adulthood seems (seemed) like a miserable place to be. WhyTF would I want to do that?!!
That's as honest as I can be right now. I feel young now too.
I want to be FREE!
