I'm slowly becoming aware of my fear-based lies. I'm seeing my fronts today.
Much of it is here, as I think more when I write, and I even imagine writing stuff while I'm at work. I share here more than in real life. My fear is all "who I am is not competent, worthy, or likable enough". I've seen Mat422 write a lot about that too.
I'll share something I've been thinking about today. I watched another Simon Sinek YT video yesterday, and in this video, he spoke of the "why?" of doing business. He said everyone knows the "how", and most make all their noise about their "how". He compared Apple to them, since from the start they never promoted any "how". They only promoted a "why" they do what they do.
Well, personally, it hits me since I've had no "why" in my home business. Thus, I've had little motivation to go forward. I'm "scared" to find my why. Why? I might find a reason to succeed, and therefore have nowhere to hide.....and be irresponsible. So, my fear is if I succeed, I'll lose my last chance of being irresponsible. Or immature. So far in my life, the funnest times in my life were when I was acting like a kid, and often, with kids. That's why I absolutely treasured my daughter's younger years. It's also why I remained a substitute teacher for 10 years, when I had done over 75% of my certification classes to become a full-time teacher. My "playground" changed from day to day, and I didn't have to take on teacher responsibilities. I loved being around children, young or old, plus being able to be a kid myself (undercover, of course)
Going back to my introduction to this post, I imagined putting on some front, sounding good, but being totally afraid of (being responsible myself).......I thought if I talked fast enough, you wouldn't see or smell my BS. .......and that's what I've hid behind, but have been afraid of being caught. So, out of fear of being known as a liar, I've hid, avoided a problem, and often created new ones. Lying breeds nothing but fear, for me. It's also been the easiest tool to go to for many years.
I'm not helpless. However, it seems the opposite of being helpless is........being responsible (headsmack!)
Damn. Shannon, I found a *********** root.
I'm listening to USLM and have been while writing.
Much of it is here, as I think more when I write, and I even imagine writing stuff while I'm at work. I share here more than in real life. My fear is all "who I am is not competent, worthy, or likable enough". I've seen Mat422 write a lot about that too.
I'll share something I've been thinking about today. I watched another Simon Sinek YT video yesterday, and in this video, he spoke of the "why?" of doing business. He said everyone knows the "how", and most make all their noise about their "how". He compared Apple to them, since from the start they never promoted any "how". They only promoted a "why" they do what they do.
Well, personally, it hits me since I've had no "why" in my home business. Thus, I've had little motivation to go forward. I'm "scared" to find my why. Why? I might find a reason to succeed, and therefore have nowhere to hide.....and be irresponsible. So, my fear is if I succeed, I'll lose my last chance of being irresponsible. Or immature. So far in my life, the funnest times in my life were when I was acting like a kid, and often, with kids. That's why I absolutely treasured my daughter's younger years. It's also why I remained a substitute teacher for 10 years, when I had done over 75% of my certification classes to become a full-time teacher. My "playground" changed from day to day, and I didn't have to take on teacher responsibilities. I loved being around children, young or old, plus being able to be a kid myself (undercover, of course)
Going back to my introduction to this post, I imagined putting on some front, sounding good, but being totally afraid of (being responsible myself).......I thought if I talked fast enough, you wouldn't see or smell my BS. .......and that's what I've hid behind, but have been afraid of being caught. So, out of fear of being known as a liar, I've hid, avoided a problem, and often created new ones. Lying breeds nothing but fear, for me. It's also been the easiest tool to go to for many years.
I'm not helpless. However, it seems the opposite of being helpless is........being responsible (headsmack!)
Damn. Shannon, I found a *********** root.
I'm listening to USLM and have been while writing.
I want to be FREE!
